10/10
Call me crazy, but...
7 March 2006
I found an old VHS copy of this in a used book store. One look at the case and I knew I had to buy it. On the cover was an illustration of some guy, shirt unbuttoned, standing in the middle of the jungle holding a tommy gun, with a curvaceous woman clinging to his arm. You know you've got a terrible B-movie when you see a picture like that on the cover (i.e. the picture looks stupid, and you know the actual movie won't look anything like the picture anyway). Oh, and the best part: the title, "Jungle Raiders," was in the EXACT same font you'll see on the cover of "Raiders of the Lost Ark." Obviously, people were supposed to buy it thinking it was an Indiana Jones movie. Not realizing their mistake until they got home, and too lazy to go back for a refund, these sad individuals would then resign themselves with the knowledge that they had brought home Captain Yankee when they could have had Indy.

Upon inserting the video into a friend's VCR, I realized something. This wasn't merely a campy, low-budget, '80s action flick. No, it was a campy, low-budget, '80s action flick FROM ITALY! The Italians are crazy, of course, so I knew I was in for something wacky. I was right. My friend and I couldn't stop laughing until it was over, and even after that we were still chuckling about it. This was seriously the most fun I'd had watching a movie in a long time.

I don't know where to start talking about it! Okay, first of all, it is NOT a rip-off of "Raiders of the Lost Ark," as some other IMDb reviewers have said. Apart from a couple of tombs and some angry natives, the resemblance doesn't extend beyond the packaging.

"Jungle Raiders" is in fact a roller-coaster ride of extremely random action sequences, crappy special effects, and horrendous dubbing. The plot is rapid fire; one idiotic thing after another. This movie has everything! It has a boy who sends his pet cobra out to do errands for him! It has flame-throwers! It has pirates! It has a buck-toothed villain who wears a turban with a jewel in the middle of it! It has a Scottish sidekick who wears a plaid pancake hat! It has a fire-breathing mummy! It has Lee Van Cleef! All things which could only come from the sick mind of an Italian. The ridiculous booby traps that our heroes encounter are enough to send you into fits of laughter, and if that doesn't happen the hilariously bad film score will probably do the trick. And if you haven't died laughing by the time the ending credits roll, you'll get to hear one of the worst songs ever written.

Only seasoned veterans of bad movies should attempt to watch "Jungle Raiders." The viewing should not be done alone. Popcorn is optional. And...what more can I say? I don't understand how anyone could not love this movie.
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