Review of B. Monkey

B. Monkey (1998)
4/10
Worthy of late-night cable
11 May 2006
Flipping channels one night, I came across a movie that promised Asia Argento, Rupert Everett and Johnathan Rhys-Meyers (big fan of his) and directed by the guy who did "Il Postino" so I decided to stick around and give it a chance. I should've watched trout fishing instead as that would've been more unpredictable than this. Argento is a revelation in this as she dominates each scene she's in and left me wanting more. Rhys-Meyers does well here as does Everett. The problem is that the movie is too predictable and the leading man is totally dull. When characters go on the run, of course the villains are going to catch up. When two totally different characters fall in love, of course they'll spend 1/3 of the movie arguing. When a thief says "this is my last job", of course you know it won't be. This screenplay seems to come out of a Cinema 101 course. Absolutely NOTHING original. There are tons of plot holes too. The most glaring is when Argento shows up at the house of a woman who threatens her boyfriend's job. How did she get the address? Did anyone re-read the script? Another note to filmmakers: Boring jazz makes boring movies. Jared Harris's choice of music almost put me to sleep. Is that really what you want your audience to do? John Carpenter used jazz in "The Fog" but it was nicely kept to the background but here it's annoying. If you're a fan of Argento, Everett or Rhys-Meyers then check out this movie. If you're not...well, there's always trout fishing. This is strictly a B-Movie that tries for atmosphere and action but just leaves you feeling bored.
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