Dead Meat (2004)
4/10
Some good ideas, nice gore, but it's badly made and ends abruptly.
29 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
It seems weird that I find myself complaining this movie is too short, given how many movies are at least an hour too long these days, but Dead Meat really needed more space. It's tiny 70 minute run time barely gives it time to introduce characters, let alone explain it's whacked-out plot-line.

While Dead Meat is getting itself cracking, it's pretty cool. For one, it's daylight, which is a little different for these movies, and the sprightly camera work recalls movies like Braindead and the Evil Dead series (if a little less proficient than those two.). Still, it already has problems. The plot suggests that it's trying to be funny, but aside from a few bad taste laughs at gore shots, you won't be finding this movie remotely funny. It's got more in common with Night of the Living Dead than Bad Taste, and almost all the laughs come at the expense of the gore-shots, which are messy but very derivative (aside from one fantastic instance involving a vacuum cleaner and an eyeball.) and no gore-hound will be particularly impressed with what's on offer, originality wise.

It sucks at being scary too. Zombie attacks are badly handled, with no real scares to speak of and shoddy lighting and direction leading to a lot of confusion as to who's fighting who. Not that you'll care, with the exception of undertaker Des, the characters are weak and badly written, not that you'd notice given most of them are packing effected accents that garble half their lines. I'm not talking about the Irish guys either. Main character Helena is indecipherable for a lot of the run-time.

I wish this film had carried through on it's excellent first half, but once a plot has to come out, it just doesn't have the goods. The only real joy you can pull out of this movie is if you view it as a cheap gore flick and go in for the blood, as it has a lot, and it's surprisingly nasty for a 15. If you REALLY dig gore and don't care how bad movies are if they have good gore shots, check this out, if not, I'd avoid it. Oh, and on a side note, the ending sucks. Do yourself a favour, avoid this and rent Versus or Undead instead.
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