Alice in Wonderland (II) (1985)
7/10
Before LOTR, there was... Alice in Wonderland... on TV...
17 August 2006
Thanks to talk show legend Steve Allen, who produced this incredibly faithful adaptation to the classic work of far out yet relevant children's fiction, you and your child (or little nephew or whatever) can know all of Lewis Carroll's book without sticking your noses in it. This miniseries was oozing with miscellaneous celebrity cameos as they portray all your favorite wacky-logic-minded characters and then some, more often than not, doing so in tights! If it has been your lifelong ambition to rub a ridiculous, almost unknown, embarrassing Beatles moment in the face of a Fab Four fan, you'll definitely find Ringo Starr as the Mock Turtle fit to your sick pleasure. Other celebrities who would've done anything for Steve or just owed him really big favors include Patrick Duffy as Goat, Pat Morita as Horse, Jonathan Winters as Humpty Dumpty, Beau Bridges as Unicorn, Sherman Helmsley as Mouse, Scott Baio as Pat the Guinea Pig (HA!), and Telly "Kojak" Savalas as the Chesire Cat.

I mostly remember this movie fondly for three reasons: 1.) Because of this movie, I, unlike most people my age, am aware of one of the funniest voiced celebrities ever in Hollywood, Carol Channing. She has a muddier and more slurred speech impediment than that drunk you know at that really sleazy bar (You know the one). 2.) In one of the most pimp casting choices ever, the Rat Pack's Sammy Davis, Jr. plays the Caterpillar. That's really all there is to say there. 3.) This, what I'm choosing as my favorite scene, is probably very cheap and dated now, but whattaya want? I was 3-5 years old! The character that scared excrement out of me every time I saw it was the big dark dragon-like Jabberwocky, and the scene toward the end when it demolishes a dining hall filled with the Wonderland citizens is forever deemed frightening in my mind. As far as adaptations that were true to the novel(s), this two-part movie was the closest to The Lord of the Rings we had back then. Isn't that sad?
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