Beowulf (1999)
10/10
A late '80s action flick from the late '90s
1 September 2006
Honestly, without looking at the production details, I would never have guessed this film wasn't made in the eighties. It's so eighties I feel it perfectly epitomizes the beloved "'80s action B-movie" genre despite being made a full decade too late. And knowing the extremes B-movies actually from the eighties can go to, that's saying A LOT.

It has Chris Lambert playing Billy Idol in a long black leather coat playing Beowulf; Rhona Mitra, "The original model behind Lara Croft in Tomb Raider!"; the kind of ingenious/insane mix of pseudo-medieval, post-apocalyptic and modern fashion and technology I haven't seen since Knights (and that's another one for the B-movie history books); a rather nice, if forgettable, techno soundtrack; more somersaults than you can shake a lever-action clockwork sword at; and Grendel's HOT MOMMA!

I think Beowulf would have approved. It gets the attitude right, and that's what counts - to quote the poem, Chapter IX, "Me thus often the evil monsters/ Thronging threatened. With thrust of my sword,/ The darling, I dealt them due return!" (The full text of Beowulf is available at http://www.humanities.mcmaster.ca/~beowulf/ )

And, by the way, let's not forget that dirty little chuckle Lambert has perfected. I loved it when he played Raiden in Mortal Kombat, and I absolutely love it here.
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