Review of The Covenant

The Covenant (2006)
1/10
Reminds me of some Uwe Boll films...
9 September 2006
I am not even sure where to begin... so I will start with this... In 15 years of going to the movies that I have paid for with my own money there has been only one I walked out of; this is now the second. This film does not start anywhere, does not go anywhere, is not suspenseful, is not scary, elicits neither sympathy or empathy for the protagonists nor disdain for the antagonist and has some of the most poorly written dialogue in film to date. This film suffers from the script supervisor (responsible for continuity) being asleep in a lot of the scenes making the flow of the film abysmal. This film has randomly placed scenes which try to tie motivations between characters and events through out the film when very little foundation has been laid for anything that happens; everything seems forced and artificial.

Most people will read this and say: "You did not stay to the end so how can you comment on a film you walked out of." Here is my reason: This film did such a poor job of getting me to care about anything it presented in terms of story, dialogue and characters I just could not take its mediocrity anymore. I tried and I think I made it with 15 minutes or so to spare. By that time I was so disinterested in what happens seeing the ending to the film would have made no difference; it would have only served to make me more upset that I stayed to watch this... this... train-wreck to its conclusion. I cannot even chalk this one up to entertainment value because I was not entertained in the least bit. Not even the girl-candy (and they are hot) was enough to keep me in my seat.

As a friend once told me "...you would have been equally served by taking the money you spent and setting it on fire and watching it burn." In this case he is completely correct.
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