Review of Seven Thieves

Seven Thieves (1960)
3/10
TV Quality Masquerading As A Feature
5 November 2006
Considering the talent involved, this was an incredibly boring film. I'm not a guy who needs CGI, explosions, and car chases for a film to be exciting...how about some crisp, witty, intelligent dialog? I love a good character study as much as the next film fan, but these characters were too shallow, vague, and "mysterious" to be anything beyond one-dimensional. The attempt at mysterious pasts fell flat because they never went anywhere and had no bearing on the caper or its aftermath. Every chance the gang members had at challenging Rod Steiger's authority fizzled into quiet subservience immediately. The "tension" during the heist was forced and unrealistic, with obstacles overcome much too neatly. This seemed more like a TV episode of "It Takes A Thief" or, as another reviewer suggested, "Mission: Impossible". Even the worst episode of either of those series was more enjoyable than this film.

Other reviewers found the plot "complicated". Can't figure that one out, as it is the most straightforward plot imaginable, with a clear avoidance of any meaningful twists and turns. And the "twist" ending fell completely flat because it had no bearing on anything that came before it. All it generates is a shrug of the shoulders and a yawn before the abrupt and pat ending. Lost opportunities to push the envelope, generate legitimate tension, create plot twists, and stir up human drama.

The acting held only one surprise: Rod Steiger. This is the only film I've seen him in other than "On The Waterfront" where he is not chewing up the scenery with wild, over-the-top acting. He actually quiets things down and gives a mostly tight and controlled performance...choosing his outbursts selectively, rather than making his entire performance one long outburst as he usually does. Joan Collins was very pretty, but she is given nothing to do and every opportunity to use her character to stir up trouble in the group, or create a surprise twist with the heist is avoided at every possible chance. And they throw in a couple of dance numbers to "spice" up the movie, but the choreography is dreadful and she's not in rhythm to the music, so it is not erotic or sexy in the least...one just wants her to stop. I was willing to sit through one dance number as a way of introducing her character (eventhough we're already quasi-introduced to her in a meaningless café scene), but when they toss in the second dance number, there is no point other than time filler. Her acting was good...it's a shame the script didn't give her something substantial to do. The rest of the cast does a serviceable job, but again, there is nothing much for anyone to do. Top honors must go to Mr. Robinson, of course. There is no question that he radiates genuine star quality, and he is an absolute joy to watch. When he's not on, the movie becomes an endurance test until he is back on the screen again.

OVERALL: Missed opportunities left and right, boring script, complete lack of tension, a director & script that undermine the drama at every turn, but gets a hearty three out of ten stars strictly for Mr. Robinson's performance.
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