Chopping Mall (1986)
4/10
Unbelievably Cheesy, Mildly Entertaining.
28 November 2006
From the film's title - "Chopping Mall", I was expecting a movie along the lines of a slasher film. And, well, I was completely surprised. While "Chopping Mall" is in a way a slasher movie, it's of a different kind. The movie basically revolves around a group of eight teenagers who are hanging out in a high tech security mall after closing time. The kids are enjoying themselves, having sex and whatnot, when suddenly one couple is murdered by the mall's high-tech security robots. The steel doors to the mall slam shut, leaving the remaining teens trapped in the mall with a gang of killer robots mercilessly attacking them. The doors don't open back up until six a.m. the next morning - can they make it through the night?

This film has complete B-movie cheese written all over it. The story for this movie, for one, is creative but flat-out silly if you really think about it. The acting - well, let's not go there. I'll just say that it was pretty bad overall - bad delivery, and they were completely unbelievable. There were typical archetype characters, including the promiscuous girl, the nerdy guy, and the good girl. The film's special effects are another thing. The CGI is completely horrible, although back at the time this was made (1986), I suppose that this could have been looked at as some high-quality technology. Viewers today though will be able to see how unbelievable it really is. The robots also kind of reminded me of vacuum cleaners, but that was just me. Aside from this movie's negative points, it's got one good thing going for it - it's really entertaining, in all of it's cheesy glory. It's not scary in any way, just entertaining, and may please gore fans for some of it's murder scenes - I have to admit, the head-explosion bit was classic.

Overall, "Chopping Mall" is nothing but a corny B-movie. It's campy, the acting was far below average, the strange techno music was annoying, and the special effects are unconvincing - but despite that, it's entertaining for the most part. You'll have a fun time watching it, but it's hard to take any of it seriously at all. 4/10.
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