5/10
Not as bad as everyone makes it out to be.
3 December 2006
I came across this movie at my local video store, and my Madonna-loving heart just had to buy it; it was only $3.15, and I was sure it couldn't have been as bad as everyone made it out to be.

I was right. While it's in no way outstanding or excellent, and is, in fact, probably slightly bad (but more mediocre than anything), it's no way the worst movie ever made, or deserving of being on the Bottom 100, either.

The only acting I found to be lacking was from Madonna, who seemed stiff in several scenes in the first half and rather annoying throughout the last half. I don't see where the hate against Sean Penn's performance is coming from - like in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", I was able to focus on the character and forget about the fact that I really dislike Sean Penn, so he must have done something right.

The plot wasn't bad, either - a bit confusing in places, but otherwise decent. A lot of stuff that I found to be rather ridiculous in the beginning made more sense in the end (why missionaries would be looking for opium), and I didn't find Madonna the Missionary's unethical behavior to be that far-fetched or over-the-top.

All in all, a decent, somewhat (unintentionally) campy movie recommended to fans of Madonna, Sean Penn, or both the Poison Penns. Otherwise, if it comes on TV, and you're bored with nothing else to do, consider giving it a try.
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