Review of Vampirella

Vampirella (1996 Video)
5/10
It's Silly Camp . . . Not Porn.
1 January 2007
This is light weight, low budget camp. It doesn't really hit, but it is clear that (at some point) the director went with the flow and intentionally made a "so bad it's good" movie. (Except it isn't really quite "good") Watch it for a laugh. If you are watching it to see large breasts bouncing around: Grow up and just rent some porn.

If I understand th gist of all the grossly negative comments they mostly revolve around Vamiprella (Talisa Soto) not having large enough breasts and that her costume is not skimpy enough. Hmmm. One can guess that these guys don't ever get the chance to see an actual nude female in real life unless they pay for the privilege.

Now my take on the costumes. The female costumes are quite skimpy and tight. The red rubber costume of Vampirella has a gold bat placed right over her naught bits and appears to be a a big arrow directing the viewer to her vagina. It is hysterically funny (pun intended). If her costume was any skimpier, this would be soft-core porn rather than camp.

Unfortunately the men, although in many cases also encased in shiny sexy rubber, are not so tight, and the men are mostly pretty unattractive. (The Demos character is sexy though.) There are plenty of chances to make everyone look good, and rubber, like tight black leather, is a sexy (albeit silly) costuming material.

Enjoy this with low expectations and you may enjoy it for how bad it is (and was intended to be). The acting is mostly pretty bad. Bad enough to make it part of the campiness and funny part of the movie.

Except for Roger Daltry. One could go on for quite a long time trying to explain why he was so bad in this. He is over the top, but that is the whole idea, so that is not it. I think it is because he seems to not take it as a joke. There is no way to suspend reality at all while he is on the screen, and even with a silly piece like this, you need to do that a bit. How far has Mr. Daltry fallen since he was Tommy and part of the Who! He should never appear as an actor and just remember the days when the Who was fabulous and Tommy was hailed as the original "rock opera", and the band was considered to be the best of the best by many. He was never an actor he was a musician.

Yeah, I have to agree about the fangs; they really were cheesy and looked like they came from Wal Mart. Some times they fit so badly they distorted the actor's faces and gave them a horse-like appearance. Can't decide if this was so bad it is funny. I guess I have to give it a nod to the funny side of things.

Anyway it is silly. It is fun. It does not succeed as a good sci-fi, vampire, or as porn; but doesn't try.
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