8/10
Why DID the kids put beans in their ears?
4 February 2007
When my roommate and I put this DVD into the DVD player, we were not expecting much, due to a review on IMDb that said it was appropriate for small pre-teen girls. This review also claimed that the movie gave you an image of love without all the sex.

We would have to disagree.

A lot.

Based on all of the bawdy carnival humour related to rape, and breasts, not to mention the beans in the ears and the jam on the cats.

OH! And the drugging and torture of our beloved protagonist Joe McIntyre. Neither of us have seen the play, so imagine our confusion when the poor boy wakes up in the middle of the night, is lured across a field by a giant glowing light, slipped a roofie by a drag queen, then beaten and tortured repeatedly while his love, and some skeazy carnival owner taunt him from a gondola. "FAKEY FAKER!" anyone?

We especially appreciated the following songs:

"Never Say No": For the lines "Why did the kids pour jam on the cat" and "Why did the kids put beans in their ears" these made little if not no sense to us.

"It Depends on What You Pay": For it's casual throwing around of the terms rape, and abduction.

"Soon It's Gonna Rain": For the spaced out expression of Joe McIntyre's face, as well as the strange blindfolded foreplay near the end of the tune.

"Round and Round": For the repeated beatings and inexplicable "ah-ah-ah-ing" from the heroine.

We would also like to state for the record that it is a shame that the song "Plant A Radish" was cut, and not included in the final draft of the film because clearly with children you never know until the seed is fully grown, but at least with beans you can send 'em back.

We watched the movie on repeat for three hours reliving the best moments, WITHOUT the use of chemical enhancers... if you get our drift.
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