4/10
Could Spring Break be a magnet for psycho killers?
17 March 2007
The leader of the biker gang "The Demons" is convicted for murder and is electrocuted in the electric chair. Before he dies, he yells that he'll take revenge on the town. But the beach community main focus for now is the truck load of college students making their way there for "Spring break". Although, things turn bad when the biker's body is now missing from its grave and a serial killer biker has hit the scene and is killing teenagers. This leaves a depressingly good-guy collage football player and a barmaid to figure out who's behind the killings, while the authorities try to cover it up so it doesn't spoil business.

SPRING BREAK! Time to riot and be completely idiotic! When watching this, I was thinking that I was going to get mostly a slasher film, but Umberto Lenzi (who's going by Harry Kirkpatrick for the occasion) seemed more occupied with the pointlessly low-brow partying. I thought this aspect would be more in the background, but instead it came to the forefront. This costs the mystery element of the story with Porky's-Revenge of the Nerds II antics winning out.

This low-budget, b-grade effort is pretty much a loudly obnoxious copy and paste slasher/goofball item that recycles the usual stereotypes, clichés and red herrings with less than desirable results. These tools are laid on thick… very thick. This goes for the token characters, which the camera seems to follow about. You got the thief, prankster, misguided girl conning older men out of their doe, loud-mouth lout, peeping tom, sex-crazed dope, mopey football player, trouble makers (bikers here), Rev.'s skank daughter and the list just goes on… and on. Random characters simply come and go in a stereotypical mish mash. I don't mind this, if it didn't uninterestingly drag, which I found it to do. These certain aspects and gimmicks involving these different characters do get tired, like the thief constantly stealing money and everyone believing the prankster's gags. In no time you're thinking how can they keep on falling for it? Everything about this side of the story was so heavy handed, predictable and one-dimensional in its build-up that when it came to "who-dunnit" slasher development it just falls flat on its back.

The cardboard premise is chocker block with possibilities as it goes all over the place in what it wants to be and a tepidly dismal script offers very little help. The red herrings are poorly justified and unbelievable that you can see who it is miles before it's even revealed and there are coincidences' too many. Lenzi's statically lazy direction can hardly raise an ounce of sweat with weak attempts of suspense, but there are few effective touches amongst the dross and his pacing is quite stable. Make-up special effects are tolerable enough, but the gore is pretty much missing, as most of the violence involves victims being burnt to a crisp after being electrocuted by the killer/or bike. Yep, bike! They are quite original, but still these buzzing jolts are weakly handled and simply risible in the execution of the deaths. Most of the time he just happens to be there, just like many of the other characters. So there's a high suspension of disbelief needed. The smashingly uproarious rock score by Claidio Simonetti sticks in many heavy metal cues with plenty of impact and with the guidance of some striking cinematography works its way in.

The acting throughout is mainly poor. Gladly the capable presence of John Saxon shines through. His snarlingly hard-ass and slimly performance as the police chief adds much needed class to the rest of the fumbling performances. Michael Parks is features briefly in an amusing alcoholically twitchy doctor/coroner and Lance LeGault scornfully chews up the scenery as the priest. Nicolas De Toth makes for a sluggishly vapid heroine and the foxy Sarah Buxton's fine performance adds the much need sparks in their pairing.

"Welcome to Spring Break" is averagely plain, which in the final product I didn't find to be as fun as it could have been. More mindless fodder to an overpopulated trend.
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