Brandon Lee stars as 007 styled spy (Or he's a mercenary because the damn song that kept playing called him a mercenary, go figure) who travels to South Africa to rescue a scientist (Borgnine, in an accent that must be heard to be believed) from a bunch of goons who want Borgnine to turn a diamond into a laser weapon. (This plot angle certifies the level of credibility we are dealing with) Brandon Lee sure made a lot of bad movies in his day. With the overrated Rapid Fire, the mediocre (though watchable)Showdown In Little Tokyo and of course this movie, one can only conclude that The Crow really was his best effort. (Actually his Hong Kong produced movie Legacy Of Rage is supposed to be pretty good. I ordered it, to review it) Anyway Laser Mission is easily the worst from Brandon Lee but that's not to say it isn't entertaining. It is in fact ultimately hilarious. When Laser Mission starts we witness men put gas-masks on while the credits role and the Laser Mission theme plays and we meet people at a party, when the guy explains the caliber of quality of the diamond, the crowd breaks out in hilarious whistling. The directing apparently implies that this was filmed with a hand-held camera (the cheapest type) and people are gassed all for a diamond which looks really fake. Brandon Lee then arrives talks to Ernest Borgnine, gets shot with a dart and then wakes up in prison. He fights his way out and these action sequences are truly stilted. Worst of all is the acting from Debi Monahan (The Seinfeld chick who got killed, right?) Her high pitched squealing along with Lee's overly smug presence (Seriously Brandon Lee was an appealing actor, but not here) make for the funniest moments. Brandon Lee also dresses up as a Cuban, we see two Cuban soldiers who are movie's would be comic relief make the same jokes over and over again. The funniest part of the movie is the climax where we see Brandon Lee get shot at by the main bad guy but then run him over with the car. However when he gets shot at, he's standing outside the car, the next shot is edited of the car charging towards him. Hilarious. More unintentional hilarity ensues but hey this movie was only 2.99 and if you're a big time Brandon Lee fan, or a fan of camp this is perfect cheese.
* out of 4-(Bad)
* out of 4-(Bad)