The Teasers (1975)
Gloria Guida, like you've always seen her before
7 May 2007
I saw this movie in Italian with Italian subtitles for the deaf (long story), and Gloria Guida and her female co-stars like Ilona "Ciccalona" Staller stripped off so regularly that I was having trouble concentrating on the subtitles so I probably missed a few plot points. The title roughly translates to "The High School Student" or "The High School Co-ed", but, unlike in American films of its ilk, no one in this film is remotely believable as a high school student. One of the "boys", for instance, is played by one of those goofy, rubber-faced Italian comedians who looks like he's about thirty five and acts like he's about eight (although given Guida's impossibly short mini-skirts and perpetually uncrossed legs, it's possible he and the other guys flunked a few years, unable to concentrate on their studies). There were a number of movies like this in the 1970's featuring pretty much the same cast, but they all basically fall into two categories--the ones where Edwige Fenech (or sometimes Carrol Baker) plays a sexy female TEACHER who drives all the male students and faculty crazy, and the ones where Gloria Guida (or sometimes Lili Karati) plays a sexy female STUDENT who drives all the male students and faculty crazy. In truth the two actresses were not that far apart in age, but Fenech had the more busty mature-looking body and Guida the more convincing adolescent pout, so they were typecast accordingly.

The first part of the movie focuses on Guida's attempts to lose her virginity. Adolescent pout notwithstanding, Guida is not remotely believable as a naive virgin, so this part of the plot is pretty far-fetched. The class lotharia gets Guida completely naked twice, but is unable to "seal the deal", so she finally gives it up to one of her father's smooth business partners, which triggers a whole domestic melodrama involving her neglectful businessman father and her lonely, unfaithful mother. There are also allegedly hilarious subplots where the thirty-five-year "student" tries to pick up his female classmates by painting them in the nude, and where Guida's friend (Staller) apparently becomes a prostitute for older men (pretty appropriate for an actress who later worked in both hardcore porn and Italian politics). Meanwhile, the new male teacher tries to recover from the trauma after he accidentally uses Guida's panties for a handkerchief (you don't even want to know. . .).

This movie is very stupid, not particularly funny, and at times downright annoying, but it certainly delivers what it promises. So if you're still reading this, I imagine you'll probably like it.
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