A gaggle of sassy female pro athletes are kidnapped by some would-be Hong Kong Symbionesers and their opportunistic leader. These women get shot, stabbed, raped, drugged, and sold into the sex trade, and not only is it not offensive, it is both hilarious and peppered with righteous Black Power sentiments so unmediated they could only be emanating from the Phillipines. The kidnapper with Commie nationalist tendencies turns out to be an OK guy, whereas the cigar-chomping capitalist tries his best to murder and/or sell his own daughter! Who knows what their motivation is supposed to be; and I don't know why they didn't give Jade more to do instead of doubling the Ebony. But this sucker, like Santiago's Vampire Hookers, even has something resembling an actual screenplay - one that moves on from the inevitable stupid-detectives-in-office scenes as quickly as it can and helps you through the crummy lighting and ragged fight choreography. I don't have to read any fanboys to know that Tarantino studied this sucker up and down, and good for him.
Review of Ebony, Ivory & Jade
