I have learned so much from this movie that I'd like to share it with you:
- If attacked by a demon, cover him with a towel and then hide inside a cupboard.
- If you're considering buying an apartment in a high-rise building - don't. It is easier to get inside Fort Knox than it is to get out of such a place. The windows are made out of transparent stainless steel, and all doors are locked, even when they haven't been actually locked.
- If you have a pregnant wife and are surrounded by multitudes of blood-thirsty demons, the best way to help her is to leave her on her own and go somewhere else in the building.
- For a particularly convincing movie zombie, it's best to equip a frail-built woman with some high heels and large teeth, and then tell her to run in an unscary way.
- If you're an unborn baby, try to make your mother give birth at the exact day when she is running away from hordes of demons.
- To further cheapen an already cheap-looking 80s film, include a very cheap 80s soundtrack which will lower the sense of dread and heighten the feeling of wanting to vomit.
- If you left your child home alone and he is not answering the phone, make sure you rush home in such a way as to crash with your car with drunk neo-punks/posers so that your child has enough time to turn into a demon.
- Male neo-punks/posers always drive at full speed while touching the legs of the female passenger sitting next to them.
- When a child becomes possessed, a small demon grows inside his stomach, hardly waiting to come outside. Demons only enjoy being adults, never children.
- If a small, unconvincing-looking demon attacks you by sticking his hand outside a small opening, make sure you first cut its nails/claws, because that's probably why he's sticking his hand out in the first place.
- When Dario Argento writes a movie script, make sure you avoid that movie, unless you enjoy dull crap.