Writer James Gunn seems to believe if you put a blue person in a car with a person wearing a mask then you get instant laughs. Nope! This seems like a case where the writer got writers block, but kept on typing anyway. And the result was "The Specials" a truly useless, low budget, default direction, piece of garbage. Few movies on T.V. are so bad that they make the commercials look good, but The Specials wins this prize. I kept on waiting for the movie to start, but was denied for hour upon hour. If you took a lawn chair and set it down on your average sidewalk I can guarantee more laughs and action than this entire movie. I can only imagine that this project was bought and sold to a European distribution market long before the words "Fade In" were ever written. Thus, the only people who cared about the quality had already paid off their hookers and drug dealers and were vacationing in The Bahamas when critical decisions had to be made. The only folks left were apparently complete novices in the fields of writing, directing and editing. I give them credit for finishing the film in between finishing their high school degrees and bagging groceries at the local costco. Congratulations! Maybe one day you can out go and actually make a film! Won't that be a new experience? This is the lowest of the low and I'm amazed viewers found something redeeming in this film. I've heard more interesting dialog coming through my neighbors fence. I've seen more action at the dog park. I was impressed that Tom Church didn't mail in his performance, like Rob Lowe. Church actually took his job seriously and delivered a performance that can only be described as professional. Sad. He really thought he was making a movie. I'm not sure if that's a good sign or a bad sign. He's deserves credit for earning his money. That's about all that can be said. Rob Lowe, on the other hand, saw through this invisible script from the first line and managed to avoid acting for the entire film. That's no small accomplishment for a role with more dialog than John Adams. Lowe actually mails his performance in from outer space. Maybe from the same planet the alien orphan is from. I'm not sure. Lowe, along with the rest of the cast, recognize that the lack of subtext and emotion and meaning and point to their lines of dialog mean the writer did less work than the guy who makes the coffee. So why act? Why put in the effort? The producer is supposed to have that answer but I guarantee he was long gone by the time the cameras started to role. As I said, the only high points were the commercial interruptions. The rest was absolutely terrible.
Review of The Specials
