Classic movie monster Michael Myers as pointlessly 're-imagined' by a petulant imbecile.
There isn't one iota of suspense in the whole wretched thing, and Myer's new (absurdly simplistic) character embellishments could quite easily have been dreamt up by a five year old under general anesthetic. By pretentiously attempting an all-out character study instead of a straight homage or remake, Rob Zombie has ended up cluelessly violating several fundamental rules of the horror genre, thus devolving Michael Myers into a psychopath with less chill factor than a mildly irate Michael Palin brandishing a foam rubber mallet.
When the depressing truth that a drooling simpleton like Rob Zombie can maintain a career in Hollywood is finally the butt of droll jokes rather than the painful industry death knell of today, people may be capable of watching this stupid, stupid, stupid hunk of bunkum and having a laugh at it. Viewed today, with its lurid, lingering death scenes, its complete disregard for cinematic artistry and craft, and its unbelievably, catastrophically, seismically dumb script, it is akin to an agonizing brain assault.
But gawping at Zombie's unbelievable stupidity only goes so far. When he shoots the brutal gang rape of a helpless female mental patient from the leery, almost jocular perspective of the rapists rather than their prey, it becomes almost impossible to stomach his hoity-toity claims that he's some kind of subversive artist rather than a mildly perverted misanthrope. After the rape, Michael Myers escapes from the institution and from thereon in, murders absolutely everyone that he meets, with one exception: the rape victim. Why? Empathy for a fellow asylum inmate? Something Oedipal? Nah, its because the MPAA would've slapped the film with an NC-17 rating in the States and kids wouldn't have been able to see it. What an artist!
I watched this film from beginning to end in a constant state of funereal head-shake-o- vision.
John Carpenter's original film was a masterpiece. This is merely one hundred and six infantile, sordid and sleazy minutes of absolutely nothing. I couldn't have disliked it more.
There isn't one iota of suspense in the whole wretched thing, and Myer's new (absurdly simplistic) character embellishments could quite easily have been dreamt up by a five year old under general anesthetic. By pretentiously attempting an all-out character study instead of a straight homage or remake, Rob Zombie has ended up cluelessly violating several fundamental rules of the horror genre, thus devolving Michael Myers into a psychopath with less chill factor than a mildly irate Michael Palin brandishing a foam rubber mallet.
When the depressing truth that a drooling simpleton like Rob Zombie can maintain a career in Hollywood is finally the butt of droll jokes rather than the painful industry death knell of today, people may be capable of watching this stupid, stupid, stupid hunk of bunkum and having a laugh at it. Viewed today, with its lurid, lingering death scenes, its complete disregard for cinematic artistry and craft, and its unbelievably, catastrophically, seismically dumb script, it is akin to an agonizing brain assault.
But gawping at Zombie's unbelievable stupidity only goes so far. When he shoots the brutal gang rape of a helpless female mental patient from the leery, almost jocular perspective of the rapists rather than their prey, it becomes almost impossible to stomach his hoity-toity claims that he's some kind of subversive artist rather than a mildly perverted misanthrope. After the rape, Michael Myers escapes from the institution and from thereon in, murders absolutely everyone that he meets, with one exception: the rape victim. Why? Empathy for a fellow asylum inmate? Something Oedipal? Nah, its because the MPAA would've slapped the film with an NC-17 rating in the States and kids wouldn't have been able to see it. What an artist!
I watched this film from beginning to end in a constant state of funereal head-shake-o- vision.
John Carpenter's original film was a masterpiece. This is merely one hundred and six infantile, sordid and sleazy minutes of absolutely nothing. I couldn't have disliked it more.