Storm Warning (2007)
No story. Dumb characters. Lame.
8 July 2008
Warning: Spoilers
You are going to get 3 gross kills in this film. That's it. If that's what you are into, go for it, but it's nothing great. Just gross and nothing you haven't seen before.

The film contains bad acting, no story, illogical choices made by the characters and is a waste of time. This is not a horror film. More like an attempted thriller. Usually the dumb choices in these films are made by the main char., but here, the "bad guys" are even dumber.

So 3 porn addicted hillbillies who haven't seen a live woman in years and are moments away from raping her (something they have been suggesting they are going to do for 20 minutes) decide just as they are about to penetrate her... to go inside, watch some porn, leaving the girl and her man alone in a dilapidated (easily escapable) barn with 1000 weapons at their disposable... then decide to go get the girl to bring to the father to rape, only when the 1st son comes back, the place is booby-trapped- Macgyver-style. The 1st son dies in said booby trap, but no one seems to notice/care? This was the equivalent of Dr. Evil telling Scott Evil in Austin Powers I, "I am going to leave them in an easily escapable situation, but assume they will die. What?"

And don't you hate when you are a hillbilly and are about to rape a woman and you go c*ck first into her and she has a broken bottle between her legs and it cuts up your c*ck? Hate that. How he couldn't tell there was a broken Malt Liquor bottle between her legs as he was groping her is beyond me.

This was stupid. Cheap production values (worst Video film I have ever seen). How about a few more cuts to the sky Mr. Blanks in the first 10 minutes? The film was built around three gross kills. Three gross you will only enjoy if you are mentally-challenged or not yet hit puberty.

There is no story. None. Not even an attempt. Couple lost, finds drug dealer hillbilly home and then kill hillbillys before hillbillys can do anything to them.

At least in films like HILLS HAVE EYES, DELIVERANCE, and TIMBER FALLS, something has happened to the leads. Those films have stories. Those films had obstacles the characters had to overcome. Nothing happens to our leads except getting scared and a sprained leg (b/c if it was broken like the film suggests, he wouldn't have been able to walk out of the barn - even with a limp).

Avoid like the Plague.
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