2/10
A real stinker
19 July 2008
Warning: Spoilers
This dreadful supernatural Spanish-Italian horror/action mystery thriller blends elements of "Jaws" and "The Deep" into a pathetically dumb, dull, and wholly unappetizing cinematic brew which purports to tell the truth about the Bermuda Triangle. You see, this odd, enigmatic race of telepathic minuscule aquatic beings who reside in an Atlantis-like underwater city cause all the planes and ships to meet a watery grave in this treacherous patch of the ocean. Moreover, these beings who might be from our past also possess the power to control a bunch of sharks who munch on anyone foolish enough to venture too close to the beings' city.

Director Teodoro Ricci miserably fails to bring any style, wit, or energy to the preposterous plot, while the hopelessly messy'n'murky script similarly fails to provide any lucidity or momentum to the sloppy and disjointed story. The cast likewise don't fare too well: Arthur Kennedy sleepwalks through his stock role of a chortling lowdown nasty mobster, "Tintorera" 's Andres Garcia as a heroic expert diver looks merely confused, and the luscious Janet Agren as Garcia's loyal, worried girlfriend simply pouts her way through the whole dreary ordeal. Both the crummy dialogue ("There's something strange down there") and Stelvio Cipriani's horrendous score -- an ungodly mix of curdled synthesizer notes and soggy wah-wah guitar riffs set to a plodding, redundantly grinding disco beat -- are sheer murder on the ears. Several needless music montage sequences, the lousy dubbing, the uniformly drab and colorless characters, the paltry production values (the mysterious beings are never shown on-screen; instead we just hear their ghostly off-screen wails), the sluggish pacing, the chintzy special effects (the ticky-tacky miniatures are absolutely atrocious), and a few choice "what the hell?" moments (in one incredibly dopey set piece a boatload of dirty dippy hippies commit mass suicide by jumping overboard into the dangerous sea!) further ensure that watching this smelly schlock is anything but remotely fun or enjoyable. A total dissatisfying dud of a movie.
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