3/10
A predictable, tedious and unsatisfying slasher pic.
6 October 2008
Not to be confused with the earlier and slightly better The Slumber Party Massacre, with which it shares several similarities (a house full of teenage girls, a psycho killer, a virginal heroine, the word 'Massacre' in its title), Sorority House Massacre is yet another routine 80s stalk 'n' slash thriller, with a little Nightmare on Elm Street dream nonsense thrown in to try and spice things up a little.

It doesn't work!.

When the most horrific thing in a scary movie is the awful fashion sense of its characters, then you know you've picked a real turkey; admittedly, the extra large shoulder pads, baggy checked trousers with extremely high waist, and nasty perms are all fairly amusing, but they do not make up for this film's inability to scare, its lack of gore, or the complete absence of a decent plot.

The derivative story sees Angela O'Neill as Beth, the new member of a sorority house where it is rumoured that a lunatic once murdered his entire family. This being a cheesy 80s slasher flick, those rumours eventually prove to be true—well... almost: Beth turns out to be the only survivor of the massacre, now all grown up and lacking any memory of her childhood trauma. Worse still, her brother—the killer—now seems to have a psychic connection with Beth, knows that his lil' sis is back 'home', and wants to finish the job he started 14 years ago. Escaping from his asylum with ease, he makes a quick stop at a store to pick up a hunting knife, and then hot foots it to the sorority house, where he begins to hack up the girls (and their boyfriends, who, this being a cheesy 80s slasher flick, drop by to party).

Taking an absolute age to get going, with far too much time spent on mundane chit-chat between the girls, and on Beth's dreary nightmares (caused by her psychic 'link' with her brother), this film has a real problem with its pacing. A little welcome nudity helps a tad to keep viewers from nodding off completely (although none of the girls could really be classed as total babes, they do have nice jugs), but it's left way too late before big bro' finally gets into full-on killing mode. The deaths, when they do arrive, are uninspired, consisting of one tedious, unconvincing stabbing after another, leaving one longing for something a little more creative (is it too much to ask for our killer to make an effort?).

By 1986, absolutely tons of slasher movies had already been and gone; this one added nothing new to the genre, whilst making a complete hash out of the stale elements it borrowed from its predecessors.
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