Review of The Last House in the Woods

If the wardrobes and home decor weren't so modern, I would have sworn this grimy little movie was an authentic 70s Italian gore film. Really, it had almost everything, as I shall try to illustrate. First, we're treated to a mom, dad and little boy driving home down a long deserted road in the middle of nowhere. After running over a well-placed booby trap, the car crashes, dad dies, and mom and kid escape to get help. Help doesn't REALLY come though, and the little boy takes off running through the woods. Flash forward to recently broken-up young lovers Aurora and Reno, who decide to "talk" about their problems on the same lonely road. They're beset by three obnoxious young men who want to rape the girl and beat the boy. But help comes in the nick of time from a fashionably dressed couple. Unfortunately, it's not REALLY help and our young lovers soon find themselves in the terror-filled "Last House in the Woods." We've got a creepy, androgynous kid with an annoying voice (Fulci, Burial ground). We've got well-dressed moms with issues (tons). We've got family secrets (tons of gialli). We've got crazy lighting (Argento). We've got a bizarre synthesizer score (tons). We've got gore, vomit, and pus (the good ones). We've got a David Hess-looking main bad guy (House on the Edge of the Park). We've got one crazy dude with a chainsaw (Hooper, not Italian but still). We've even got a guy who acts like a zombie, since there wasn't a logical way to throw in a real zombie. Oh, and the threat of some good ol' Papa Fulci eyeball violence. It's like an Italian "Scream," bringing back the conventions the writer-director grew up with. Plus, like all good Italian gore films, it doesn't make a lot of sense.

Is this a good movie? No. But "Last House in the Woods" is an entertaining little time warp, made enjoyable by some fun gore and a love of the movies that came before.