B. Monkey (1998)
5/10
Not sure what to make of it...
25 March 2009
Warning: Spoilers
The posters and DVD arts project this to be a sexy crime thriller about a female bank or jewel robber or something. Instead, it's a romantic drama with a touch of crime thriller here and there but nothing like what you'd have expected.

I don't mind the film for what it is. Beatrice (Bee-Ah-Trich-E) is a lovely Italian woman who has gone the straight after a career as an armed robber. She still keeps in touch with a few of her old friends from that life, but mainly, she has gone straight. I wasn't sure if this film was going anywhere interesting, then it turned into a romantic drama when Beatrice meets a guy named Alan (Jared Harris) who works at a classical radio station by night and teaches young kids in school by day. If you want to appreciate the European art/sex film elements of this film, such as full frontal nudity and wild sex scenes, then it will entertain you in that way for a while, as Beatrice and her new lover struggle with his impotence, bad oysters and getting to know each other.

When a friend of B's, played by the luscious Jonathan Rhys-Meyers comes into the scene, suddenly there's an actual 2 way plot going somewhere, but this is not until at least 1/3 or 2/3 into the movie. A very troubled (downright psychotic) kid at Alan's school stabs another child with a pencil, the whole thing turns ugly and suddenly Alan is faced with losing his teaching job. At the same time, B's friend needs her to come out of retirement to help him get some debts cleared up.

Asia Argento is a fun actress to watch, even if she's not the greatest actress ever. Still, this film seems to not be able to make up its mind what it wanted to be. It's entertaining in some ways, but not exciting enough for me to recommend.
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