Most popular web sites covering the horror genre are embarrassing. You probably know exactly which ones I'm talking about. There are a handful of them, and they're always the ones being quoted on DVD covers and in commercials. What burns my goat is that these sites frequently lead horror fans astray by shamelessly gushing over the most cliché-ridden and mediocre crap being released these days. Why do they do this? The majority simply aren't impartial. Many of those in charge of these websites kiss so much director, producer and actor ass that they are no longer capable of writing an unbiased or less-than-flattering review. They fear that by speaking the truth they will risk the opportunity to get into advance screenings and may no longer receive free film merchandise, DVDs, early screener copies or chances to network and get themselves small movie roles, as well as possibly forfeiting bragging rights that "so-and-so" is a close personal friend of theirs. They know that throwing out excellent reviews to average (or in many cases awful) films equals free advertisement. These people aren't in this for their genre love as much as they are in it for themselves and thus everyone should really take most reviews from any of these online sites with a grain of salt. Incessant brown-nosing is an epidemic around those places.
How do I know? You're looking at a former writer for one of the most popular (if not THE most popular) horror sites on the web. And before you hand me a bowl to put my sour grapes in, let me make it clear that I threw up my hands and willingly and quietly walked away on my own accord because I was disgusting by the unprofessional and unethical practices conducted by the site I used to write for. I could no longer, with a good conscience, continue to write for them. My time is much better spent writing freely here on this website as opposed to having my reviews tinkered with behind my back or having the head honchos refuse to publish a review because (in their words) it would anger or hurt the feelings of a "friend." If you recall a few years back when HOSTEL was released, a web site or two gushed about it being "the most scary, most disturbing, most bad ass experience of the past 500 years!" The same kind of overly-warm, suspiciously-glowing reception was given to HATCHET, but it doesn't really deserve that kind of acclaim. It's pretty ordinary. Some of the gore is decent, but that's about it.
As a spoof/parody/satire/"loving tribute"/whatever of slasher flicks, as I see some people claiming... well it wasn't particularly clever. Not as clever as, say, BEHIND THE MASK: THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON, which is far superior to this one in my humble opinion. I think the humor missed the mark more often than not. As far as the supposed "old school feel..." Well, I'm completely sick of hearing that excuse for movies that are basically lacking. Bad acting? It's supposed to be bad! Bad dialogue? It's supposed to be bad! Bad movie? It's supposed to be bad! Try as some directors might, if your film looks extremely glossy and completely lacks grit, as well as incorporates CGI effects and a cast whose dialogue is little more than a constant stream of smarmy witticisms (apparently todays writers OD'd on Tarantino movies), then the "retro" novelty goes right out the window. This feels more like I KNOW WHAT YOU DID... than anything out in the early 80s. Just saying. T&A? Yep, there's some of that here. Unfortunately, the shower/sex scenes of yesterday have been replaced by the "Girls Gone Wild" camera flashing/pseudo-lez make-out sessions of today, which are about as sexy as a root canal.
Then we have the obligatory "name" cameos with Kane Hodder, Tony Todd and Robert Englund's names adorning the DVD box. They were obviously hired to sell the movie and at least two of them appear in roles that are basically pointless. Joshua (THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT) Leonard and John Carl (makeup fx maestro) Buechler also have small roles for what it's worth. As for the ending... Well, it kind of just ended. I'll give it that. A little abrupt for my tastes, but whatever. It was over. I guess we can now expect a sequel.
How do I know? You're looking at a former writer for one of the most popular (if not THE most popular) horror sites on the web. And before you hand me a bowl to put my sour grapes in, let me make it clear that I threw up my hands and willingly and quietly walked away on my own accord because I was disgusting by the unprofessional and unethical practices conducted by the site I used to write for. I could no longer, with a good conscience, continue to write for them. My time is much better spent writing freely here on this website as opposed to having my reviews tinkered with behind my back or having the head honchos refuse to publish a review because (in their words) it would anger or hurt the feelings of a "friend." If you recall a few years back when HOSTEL was released, a web site or two gushed about it being "the most scary, most disturbing, most bad ass experience of the past 500 years!" The same kind of overly-warm, suspiciously-glowing reception was given to HATCHET, but it doesn't really deserve that kind of acclaim. It's pretty ordinary. Some of the gore is decent, but that's about it.
As a spoof/parody/satire/"loving tribute"/whatever of slasher flicks, as I see some people claiming... well it wasn't particularly clever. Not as clever as, say, BEHIND THE MASK: THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON, which is far superior to this one in my humble opinion. I think the humor missed the mark more often than not. As far as the supposed "old school feel..." Well, I'm completely sick of hearing that excuse for movies that are basically lacking. Bad acting? It's supposed to be bad! Bad dialogue? It's supposed to be bad! Bad movie? It's supposed to be bad! Try as some directors might, if your film looks extremely glossy and completely lacks grit, as well as incorporates CGI effects and a cast whose dialogue is little more than a constant stream of smarmy witticisms (apparently todays writers OD'd on Tarantino movies), then the "retro" novelty goes right out the window. This feels more like I KNOW WHAT YOU DID... than anything out in the early 80s. Just saying. T&A? Yep, there's some of that here. Unfortunately, the shower/sex scenes of yesterday have been replaced by the "Girls Gone Wild" camera flashing/pseudo-lez make-out sessions of today, which are about as sexy as a root canal.
Then we have the obligatory "name" cameos with Kane Hodder, Tony Todd and Robert Englund's names adorning the DVD box. They were obviously hired to sell the movie and at least two of them appear in roles that are basically pointless. Joshua (THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT) Leonard and John Carl (makeup fx maestro) Buechler also have small roles for what it's worth. As for the ending... Well, it kind of just ended. I'll give it that. A little abrupt for my tastes, but whatever. It was over. I guess we can now expect a sequel.