Forget that it's a franchise that extensively detours away from its original source material in theme, action and quality. Forget that. It's how amazingly stupid this screenplay is. It's really, really bad. A jumble of useless dialogue and cardboard characters dragged through a paper think plot idea.
I did not see Anaconda 3 so perhaps I am missing large chucks of the story. Though I can't see how.
Plot: (I kid you not!) Snake lady easily casually befriends young man, a stranger to her, while walking through the wood with two (we are told later) cops, who are easily killed at the next stop on the trail by a very poorly rendered large snake. Enter two couples in an SUV. Who are looking for base camp. We don't who they are.
The snake exists only to kill people (not for food) just to kill them and the snake seems to literally go from one human being to the next.
Lead pretty girl with new friend get chased by a group of assassins hired by John Rhys-Davies (What the F...?) in the first five minutes to kill a scientist who gyped him and his Gal Friday. The 'before mentioned' pretty lady.
A log in the road stops the two couples in the black SUV, they decide to walk to Base Camp. The snake kills more. They showed it way too much.
Pretty girl seems like she knows more than she's letting on. Down in some caves the young man/stranger (who behaves as though giant snakes, assassins and 'blood' flowers' are the norm) the pretty faced women encounter all kinds of trouble and should have been killed at least a half a dozen times.
The SUV people find a corpse at bade camp and one of them gets a bad mosequeto bite. Pretty lady and stranger boy outrun a 90 foot snake meeting up with the SUV people and the assassins at an archeology dig. The snake kills some more people. Pretty Lady gets knocked out. Stranger boy leaves but drops his keys behind for some tension later. Evidently she got knocked out dropping two feet from the ground though she didn't her head. He doesn't hear his keys drop. People do really dumb things. Now there's a serum in all of this conveniently hiding when an SUV guy and pretty lady when the assassins have them prisoners. The snake kills some more people.
Okay the SUV people have no purpose in the story -- they're fodder too. The assassins are seven strong and are only for the CGI snake. Some more people die. And Pretty lady planted those flowers to make up for all the bad she's done. (We assume from the last movie) Stranger boy meets up with SUV people and they know him. Surprise, he was looking for base camp all along too. Evidently the are archeologists on what appears to be a secret dig. They are so self important that you think they have something to do with the story but by this time there is no story left.
Okay and now there's something about a serum and a diary with instructions on to make more serum, which they conveniently discover whenever they need to advance the story (what story?), one vial, a coffee can fill of vials and the diary and then more people get killed by the plastic snake.
An SUV person sacrifice his life for pretty Lady even though he has only known her all of two hours. John Rhys-Davis appears again before getting his head bit off. And Pretty looks sad when she puts time bombs on a small flower bed in caves. There is an explosion and she escapes in an SUV with stranger boy but one last assassin tries to stop them and the movie ends.
I kid you not! We were clueless. We stared at each other the other night while watching it on TV sci-fi channel -- shaking our heads because the narrative was nearly non-existent.
Poorly written, badly directed.
Crap on a stick.
I did not see Anaconda 3 so perhaps I am missing large chucks of the story. Though I can't see how.
Plot: (I kid you not!) Snake lady easily casually befriends young man, a stranger to her, while walking through the wood with two (we are told later) cops, who are easily killed at the next stop on the trail by a very poorly rendered large snake. Enter two couples in an SUV. Who are looking for base camp. We don't who they are.
The snake exists only to kill people (not for food) just to kill them and the snake seems to literally go from one human being to the next.
Lead pretty girl with new friend get chased by a group of assassins hired by John Rhys-Davies (What the F...?) in the first five minutes to kill a scientist who gyped him and his Gal Friday. The 'before mentioned' pretty lady.
A log in the road stops the two couples in the black SUV, they decide to walk to Base Camp. The snake kills more. They showed it way too much.
Pretty girl seems like she knows more than she's letting on. Down in some caves the young man/stranger (who behaves as though giant snakes, assassins and 'blood' flowers' are the norm) the pretty faced women encounter all kinds of trouble and should have been killed at least a half a dozen times.
The SUV people find a corpse at bade camp and one of them gets a bad mosequeto bite. Pretty lady and stranger boy outrun a 90 foot snake meeting up with the SUV people and the assassins at an archeology dig. The snake kills some more people. Pretty Lady gets knocked out. Stranger boy leaves but drops his keys behind for some tension later. Evidently she got knocked out dropping two feet from the ground though she didn't her head. He doesn't hear his keys drop. People do really dumb things. Now there's a serum in all of this conveniently hiding when an SUV guy and pretty lady when the assassins have them prisoners. The snake kills some more people.
Okay the SUV people have no purpose in the story -- they're fodder too. The assassins are seven strong and are only for the CGI snake. Some more people die. And Pretty lady planted those flowers to make up for all the bad she's done. (We assume from the last movie) Stranger boy meets up with SUV people and they know him. Surprise, he was looking for base camp all along too. Evidently the are archeologists on what appears to be a secret dig. They are so self important that you think they have something to do with the story but by this time there is no story left.
Okay and now there's something about a serum and a diary with instructions on to make more serum, which they conveniently discover whenever they need to advance the story (what story?), one vial, a coffee can fill of vials and the diary and then more people get killed by the plastic snake.
An SUV person sacrifice his life for pretty Lady even though he has only known her all of two hours. John Rhys-Davis appears again before getting his head bit off. And Pretty looks sad when she puts time bombs on a small flower bed in caves. There is an explosion and she escapes in an SUV with stranger boy but one last assassin tries to stop them and the movie ends.
I kid you not! We were clueless. We stared at each other the other night while watching it on TV sci-fi channel -- shaking our heads because the narrative was nearly non-existent.
Poorly written, badly directed.
Crap on a stick.