Rent-a-Kid (1995 TV Movie)
5/10
"Do you have him in blonde?"
24 October 2009
I'm strongly considering starting a petition to introduce some kind of penalty for casting Nielsen and/or Lloyd in comedies if they are not going to be funny in the least. Suburban Commando and Mr. Magoo, I'm looking at you! But not directly, because that has proved a hazardous practice. And then there's of course this. It's not just those two, either; nothing in this is worth as much as a brief smirk or chuckle. Also wasted is Matt McCoy who you may remember from... uh... well... give me a minute... The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. Yeah. That'll do. The three are given so little material to work with that their performances in this aren't particularly memorable, and yet they are by far the best of the bunch. It's no surprise that the kids are the worst. The girl is especially unconvincing. Having forgotten the concept of humor, the writer settles for coming up with a bunch of weird quirks(!), and hopes that it'll pass for character development, as well. Your suspension of disbelief will probably all be spent immediately when this actually asks you to swallow Tony Rosata being Leslie's son. So, you're not likely to buy the simplistic cookie-cut plot, there's no good acting, and the jokes and gags offer nothing to laugh at. Once you've watched one of these crappy, tired and bland family films, you've seen them all. Why bother? I recommend this solely to those who feel utterly compelled to take in each of these wretched things. 5/10
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