This is among the worst movies I have ever seen, and I've seen some pretty bad movies. There should be some sort of horrifically painful punishment meted out to people who direct movies as agonising to watch as this one. Here are the first ten minutes of the movie, after which I became comatose:
Shaky camera angles of a river. Fake rain. People appear in the jungle. Busy man is unhappy with the arrival of silent woman. She seems not to notice. Apparently a volcanic eruption is imminent. This seems a great time to go underground, so Angry Man drags Woman into some sort of Mayan tomb, where they find a gold spray-painted wooden cross. Volcano erupts, they run. Random helper guy also runs, is flattened very comically by a giant paper mache boulder. Nobody cares.
A weather man says something. Perhaps it was important.
A paramedic woman fails to save a random man and has a hissy fit because god hates her. Or something.
At this point I had an aneurysm, and the rest of the movie is thankfully a blur of god-bothering rubbish.
If I had to describe this movie in one sentence it would be this: One giant facepalm, if you have the choice, shoot yourself in the face instead.
Give it a miss. Do something more constructive, like hunting down the director of this travesty and punching him repeatedly in the back of the head until his brain comes out.
Shaky camera angles of a river. Fake rain. People appear in the jungle. Busy man is unhappy with the arrival of silent woman. She seems not to notice. Apparently a volcanic eruption is imminent. This seems a great time to go underground, so Angry Man drags Woman into some sort of Mayan tomb, where they find a gold spray-painted wooden cross. Volcano erupts, they run. Random helper guy also runs, is flattened very comically by a giant paper mache boulder. Nobody cares.
A weather man says something. Perhaps it was important.
A paramedic woman fails to save a random man and has a hissy fit because god hates her. Or something.
At this point I had an aneurysm, and the rest of the movie is thankfully a blur of god-bothering rubbish.
If I had to describe this movie in one sentence it would be this: One giant facepalm, if you have the choice, shoot yourself in the face instead.
Give it a miss. Do something more constructive, like hunting down the director of this travesty and punching him repeatedly in the back of the head until his brain comes out.