Like a slug-paced parade that never ends (and that's just the first half-hour), iconic director Robert Wise brings to the big screen the beloved characters from that wonderfully cheesy '60s sci-fi TV show that, although it didn't last very long (three years), snowballed into an even larger cult following throughout the '70s, enough to merit a "motion picture" - too bad it had to be this one.
William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk returns to the Enterprise with a solemn, angry air, as does McCoy, even grumpier than Kirk... And finally Spock - duller than even a Vulcan should be... As they set out to intercept a giant mysterious cloud heading to earth to... blow it up.
A boring side-story involves the new young Enterprise commander (whom Kirk must replace), portrayed by the milky Steven Collins, and a very sexy bald chick who's as grumpy as the rest of the cast... especially when she becomes a robot, or something.
And most of the film has the crew standing on the bridge, gazing out in awed-wonderment at all the expensive, and impressive, special effects - the only thing somewhat worthwhile. But the eye-candy gets stale quick since there's nothing "solid" to chase it with - and we're FINALLY led to an incredibly lame "twist" ending that tries hard for Kubrick-esquire wonderment but ends of pretentiously stale.
If this were a condensed forty-five minute episode of the original series it'd still be a throwaway, lacking the mysteriously brainy chess-match aura that made the show so endearing, interesting, and fun.
The next film, THE WRATH OF KHAN (which actually has a title), is where the film series should've started. Not only is there a palpable villain, but the three leads are actually likable, and the classic side-characters, including Scotty, Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov, have more to do than stand around looking... familiar.
William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk returns to the Enterprise with a solemn, angry air, as does McCoy, even grumpier than Kirk... And finally Spock - duller than even a Vulcan should be... As they set out to intercept a giant mysterious cloud heading to earth to... blow it up.
A boring side-story involves the new young Enterprise commander (whom Kirk must replace), portrayed by the milky Steven Collins, and a very sexy bald chick who's as grumpy as the rest of the cast... especially when she becomes a robot, or something.
And most of the film has the crew standing on the bridge, gazing out in awed-wonderment at all the expensive, and impressive, special effects - the only thing somewhat worthwhile. But the eye-candy gets stale quick since there's nothing "solid" to chase it with - and we're FINALLY led to an incredibly lame "twist" ending that tries hard for Kubrick-esquire wonderment but ends of pretentiously stale.
If this were a condensed forty-five minute episode of the original series it'd still be a throwaway, lacking the mysteriously brainy chess-match aura that made the show so endearing, interesting, and fun.
The next film, THE WRATH OF KHAN (which actually has a title), is where the film series should've started. Not only is there a palpable villain, but the three leads are actually likable, and the classic side-characters, including Scotty, Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov, have more to do than stand around looking... familiar.