1/10
Bury it
12 June 2010
Warning: Spoilers
I haven't seen a movie this downright horrible in a long time. Even movies that most people consider to be bottom of the barrel often have some, perhaps unintended, viewing value. The Scorpion with Two Tails is not such a film.

Apparently, this film may have been intended as a giallo, and if handled properly, it could have been one. But instead, all we get is a totally wasted extended cameo of John Saxon, and an over abundance of the lead "actress" Elvire Audray. She gives new meaning to the term Casting Couch. Each scene where she encounters a dead body involves her seeing the corpse, screaming, then we immediately cut to another scene where she's no longer anywhere around the crime scene and she's totally fine.

The hokey plot involves Audray's husband, Saxon, looking over some Etruscan tombs. Audray's father wants the crates of artifacts sent to him, but there are drugs in one of the crates, so you have a drug deal gone bad and characters wandering around without much to do except look at each other and some bad sculptures. Oh, and let's not forget the large quantities of maggots. Apparently, the director thinks that repeated close-ups of maggots constitutes a horror film. Anyway, Audray moves from man to man in this movie, trying to find the answer to the Etruscan riddles that may or may not include her as a re-incarnation of some whatever or something. There is no gore, only a few gunshot wounds poorly staged and way too many broken necks, as if breaking someone's neck is an easy thing to do for some average jerk who's into archaeology.

There is nothing redeeming about this film, and I advise you to avoid it all the peril of your life because you will be bored to death.
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