I went in with average expectations and I was still let down. The Predator's good name has been tarnished over the years by turning what was once a scary monster into a franchise that sells toys to kids. Crossing it over with Alien was a bad idea that resulted in an indescribably awful film in 2004 and, impossibly, an even worse film in 2008. As far as I was concerned the franchise was dead. Fox had eviscerated it in a way that even the Pred himself was find appalling.
But then came Robert Rodriguez to the rescue. R-Rod apparently wrote the script in 1994 as Predator 3 and ever since it had been in production hell. The internet rumors said it was a remake, then a reboot, then R-Rod assured us it was a straight-up sequel to the long-underrated Predator 2 and that it would disregard the AvP travesties.
Well thank Jeebus for that because the arrogant and philistine nature of all of these wretched reboots/reimaginings is really getting on my nerves. But answer me this...why, if this IS essentially Predator 3 and not a remake, do R-Rod and Nimrod Antal spend 90% of the film referencing the first Predator and cramming in-jokes into the story. And why, if they hated AvP so much, did they lift dialogue corresponding to an identical scene and re-use it?
BE YOUR OWN FILM!!!
There ain't none of guts, and grit, and grain of McTiernan's tour-de-force from 1987. What we get in 2010 is a glossy, slick, CGI-coated fanboy's wet dream.
Seven tough guys and a latino chick (sound familiar?) find themselves on an alien planet and soon deduct, through repetitive exposition, that they are there to be hunted. The first 30 minutes are somewhat muted (echoing McTiernan's approach) before they, as expected, begin to die one-by-one. How original.
It's almost impossible to list the many, many faults in the script, but I'll try. My first grievance is that the motivations of the characters are so undefined I'm dubious as to whether not they actually exist. Adrien Brody's character (Royce, who isn't named until the final minute) is supposed to be the Alpha Male of the group, but he's certainly no Dutch Shaeffer. There's nothing mythic or memorable about him whatsoever, and his methods for defeating the otherworldly antagonists are questionable as well as being mostly irrelevant.
The other six men dropped into the meat grinder are a collection of stereotypes rather than names. The Mexican, the Jailbird, the Russian, The Yakuza, the African and the Doctor. Some are already heavily armed, a few are not. Did the Predator's arm them or were they already clutching weapons? Did the Predators really think that hunting a weedy doctor would make good sport?
But here's the biggest problem with the movie...how the hell did the Predators pick their prey? Did they study them from the space? How did they get the Jailbird? Break into prison and kidnap him without anyone seeing? And if Topher Grace's doctor is supposed to be a serial killer (another plot element that is so poorly delivered I'm confused about whether or not it qualifies as actually existing) then how the hell would the Predators be able to figure that out? Do they have some sort of space detective agency that determined he'd be a worthy prey to take across the galaxy? Absolute nonsense!
A lot of hype preceded Larry Fishburne's role as Noland, the survivor/scavenger. But his role is utterly pointless other than to provide a bit of exposition and supply the rest of the characters with more weapons to keep on fighting before he's unceremoniously killed off with bad CGI. He also explains that there are two types of Predator out there, like Wolves compared to dogs. We see, what appears to be, a very skinny and naked Predator hunt Mr. Mad Doctor but once it's dead there isn't even a decent establishing shot of what it really is. But it doesn't matter anyway since, like the boar-dogs, they're completely forgotten about by the next scene.
The four Predators themselves are not scary in the slightest. In Predator he was kept shrouded in mystery and his methods and style gave him personality. In Predator 2, despite being seen more, he was still a deadly and formidable enemy. But here, with four of them vying for screen time, they are just creatures we're waiting to see killed and not anything even remotely terrifying.
And if these characters are supposed to be excellent prey for the Rastafarian Pred-heads then I am suspicious as to what actually counts for decent sport on Planet Predator. These people have the WORST aim in film history. They fire hundreds and hundreds of rounds (presumably they have some sort of infinite ammo cheat code as they certainly are not carrying as much as they fire) but do very little damage to their many pursuers. I don't think they could even hit the floor if they fell on it.
I was relieved to learn that John Debney was using Alan Silvestri's wonderful themes from the first two movies. But he does so little with the material it's almost a carbon copy of the first. It's not like there's nowhere left to go with the themes. Look at how Silvestri reinterpreted his own melodies for Predator 2. Are you telling me that an alien planet filled with awe and mystery couldn't provide a setting for a deeper and more interesting score?
I've had it franchises. Bond. Freddy. Jason. Predator...all of them! I want new movies with new directions. Not stale, decades-old characters and directors more interested in writing love-letters to them than actually making a movie with lasting appeal.
If I wanted to watch Predator I would have stuck-on the Blu Ray. When money is spent on a supposed sequel it should deliver something new. Predators fails on this promise.
But then came Robert Rodriguez to the rescue. R-Rod apparently wrote the script in 1994 as Predator 3 and ever since it had been in production hell. The internet rumors said it was a remake, then a reboot, then R-Rod assured us it was a straight-up sequel to the long-underrated Predator 2 and that it would disregard the AvP travesties.
Well thank Jeebus for that because the arrogant and philistine nature of all of these wretched reboots/reimaginings is really getting on my nerves. But answer me this...why, if this IS essentially Predator 3 and not a remake, do R-Rod and Nimrod Antal spend 90% of the film referencing the first Predator and cramming in-jokes into the story. And why, if they hated AvP so much, did they lift dialogue corresponding to an identical scene and re-use it?
BE YOUR OWN FILM!!!
There ain't none of guts, and grit, and grain of McTiernan's tour-de-force from 1987. What we get in 2010 is a glossy, slick, CGI-coated fanboy's wet dream.
Seven tough guys and a latino chick (sound familiar?) find themselves on an alien planet and soon deduct, through repetitive exposition, that they are there to be hunted. The first 30 minutes are somewhat muted (echoing McTiernan's approach) before they, as expected, begin to die one-by-one. How original.
It's almost impossible to list the many, many faults in the script, but I'll try. My first grievance is that the motivations of the characters are so undefined I'm dubious as to whether not they actually exist. Adrien Brody's character (Royce, who isn't named until the final minute) is supposed to be the Alpha Male of the group, but he's certainly no Dutch Shaeffer. There's nothing mythic or memorable about him whatsoever, and his methods for defeating the otherworldly antagonists are questionable as well as being mostly irrelevant.
The other six men dropped into the meat grinder are a collection of stereotypes rather than names. The Mexican, the Jailbird, the Russian, The Yakuza, the African and the Doctor. Some are already heavily armed, a few are not. Did the Predator's arm them or were they already clutching weapons? Did the Predators really think that hunting a weedy doctor would make good sport?
But here's the biggest problem with the movie...how the hell did the Predators pick their prey? Did they study them from the space? How did they get the Jailbird? Break into prison and kidnap him without anyone seeing? And if Topher Grace's doctor is supposed to be a serial killer (another plot element that is so poorly delivered I'm confused about whether or not it qualifies as actually existing) then how the hell would the Predators be able to figure that out? Do they have some sort of space detective agency that determined he'd be a worthy prey to take across the galaxy? Absolute nonsense!
A lot of hype preceded Larry Fishburne's role as Noland, the survivor/scavenger. But his role is utterly pointless other than to provide a bit of exposition and supply the rest of the characters with more weapons to keep on fighting before he's unceremoniously killed off with bad CGI. He also explains that there are two types of Predator out there, like Wolves compared to dogs. We see, what appears to be, a very skinny and naked Predator hunt Mr. Mad Doctor but once it's dead there isn't even a decent establishing shot of what it really is. But it doesn't matter anyway since, like the boar-dogs, they're completely forgotten about by the next scene.
The four Predators themselves are not scary in the slightest. In Predator he was kept shrouded in mystery and his methods and style gave him personality. In Predator 2, despite being seen more, he was still a deadly and formidable enemy. But here, with four of them vying for screen time, they are just creatures we're waiting to see killed and not anything even remotely terrifying.
And if these characters are supposed to be excellent prey for the Rastafarian Pred-heads then I am suspicious as to what actually counts for decent sport on Planet Predator. These people have the WORST aim in film history. They fire hundreds and hundreds of rounds (presumably they have some sort of infinite ammo cheat code as they certainly are not carrying as much as they fire) but do very little damage to their many pursuers. I don't think they could even hit the floor if they fell on it.
I was relieved to learn that John Debney was using Alan Silvestri's wonderful themes from the first two movies. But he does so little with the material it's almost a carbon copy of the first. It's not like there's nowhere left to go with the themes. Look at how Silvestri reinterpreted his own melodies for Predator 2. Are you telling me that an alien planet filled with awe and mystery couldn't provide a setting for a deeper and more interesting score?
I've had it franchises. Bond. Freddy. Jason. Predator...all of them! I want new movies with new directions. Not stale, decades-old characters and directors more interested in writing love-letters to them than actually making a movie with lasting appeal.
If I wanted to watch Predator I would have stuck-on the Blu Ray. When money is spent on a supposed sequel it should deliver something new. Predators fails on this promise.