Horrible, Boring and Stupid.
Horrid sets not out of place from a '50s technicolor yuchfest, squallid costumes, pointless dialogue, monodimentional characters (this fault is almost made up by the abundance of pointless supporting), bad CGI - that alone often spells death from a martial arts action flick, and Goemon is nothing more - soppy story and truly dreadful acting, make this horrible piece of filmcraft easily comparable with Transfomers 2: easy to see how it must have cost a lot to make, and almost impossible to see how it could have been made with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
The film takes the legendary character of Goemon Ishikawa and .. well, pretty much murders it; token Asian princess, wild-at-heart Asian prince thief, do pretty much nothing except looking frail (her) or looking smug (him), then have a big fight at the end, with some half-hearted fights in between, all made truly horrific by the wannabe-300 CGI. Honestly, FF The Spirits Whithin had better CGI than this.. ten years ago. Throw in some camera work from your average 90's video game, and you have a film that isn't even worth the time to get to the rental shop to get it.
Leave it in the cheapo bin. 3/10
Horrid sets not out of place from a '50s technicolor yuchfest, squallid costumes, pointless dialogue, monodimentional characters (this fault is almost made up by the abundance of pointless supporting), bad CGI - that alone often spells death from a martial arts action flick, and Goemon is nothing more - soppy story and truly dreadful acting, make this horrible piece of filmcraft easily comparable with Transfomers 2: easy to see how it must have cost a lot to make, and almost impossible to see how it could have been made with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
The film takes the legendary character of Goemon Ishikawa and .. well, pretty much murders it; token Asian princess, wild-at-heart Asian prince thief, do pretty much nothing except looking frail (her) or looking smug (him), then have a big fight at the end, with some half-hearted fights in between, all made truly horrific by the wannabe-300 CGI. Honestly, FF The Spirits Whithin had better CGI than this.. ten years ago. Throw in some camera work from your average 90's video game, and you have a film that isn't even worth the time to get to the rental shop to get it.
Leave it in the cheapo bin. 3/10