Tales of the Gold Monkey (1982–1983)
1/10
Every bit as bad as I remember, no wonder canceled quickly
14 August 2010
Warning: Spoilers
It shows that even a producer of a caliber of one Donald Bellisario can make an awful production, literally insulting intelligence of this viewer. And probably the majority of viewers saw it similarly, when I consider that Studios pulled the plug after one season.

This show was made amid of the successful Magnum P.I. Don Bellisario later made the landmark series JAG and the current excellent NCIS. I feel happy that he came to senses, recovered and let his talent and ingenuity flourish.

Much of the Magnum cast appears in Monkey's pilot: Jeff McKay, one of our favorite characters from Magnum (Lt. MacReynolds, later returned to Magnum as a "con man extraordinaire Jim Bonnik." Marta DuBois (Magnum's wife Michelle) appears as a Japanese princess of kinds. John Hillerman, main character in Magnum "Jonathan Q. Higgins" appears here also as a vicious gestapo agent "Fritz the Monocle," who as expected will find his untimely death. Alongside appear a series of Asian actors, whom we also saw on more than one occasion in Magnum episodes.

Let me briefly summarize the pilot, a good representative of what type of a show this was: Two Germans, of course portrait in a stereotype way of vicious and cowardly, stupider than a regular adult person ever could be, stand at a waterfall and see a huge ape on the other side. Huge Gorilla of sorts, like in a Planet of the Apes, expect for a childish (party?) costume. We know later that the Germans are 'scientists.' For some reason one of the Germans opens fire at the (noble) ape. The ape is not easy to kill, it attacks! It takes a lot of yelling and shooting until the ape finally dies. Other apes appear and make a short process of the Germans. Hurray.

In another scene Princess Koji (Marta DuBuis) sits naked in a Japanese Onzen Bath, and a Japanese samurai tries to grab a red cord tied to a neck of a cobra as a test of courage. A German agent visits the princess. The German is extremely cowardly, scared to death of the cobra, sweats and shakes, what amuses everybody. I was not amused, neither was my wife, who said at some time "I am finished with the show," and did not wanted to watch it any longer. Later in the episode we see the German agent pretending to be a local reverend, seducing a local, pretty and yet stereotypically stupid native girl Tiki. So what it is about? Legend wants, on the volcanic Island with the Apes exists a statue, a gold one of course, and that alloy is so resilient to heat that Germans are after it. Fritz the Monocle, who won dog's Jake glass eye in a poker game, worth $100,000 as they said on the table, is dressed as a German navy officer and is on the mission to find the Island of the Apes and get the statue. The rest of the details are kind of irrelevant, get the DVD if you must see. Suffice to say, bad guys die, good guys win, French womanize, but are good otherwise, Germans are bad. Japanese are also bad, but in a knightly "samurai" kind of way, whereas Germans are ridiculous and cowardly. Visual effects are embarrassing, especially the volcanic eruption on the Island of the Apes looked like an apprentice job.

Poor Jeff MacKey! For this role of a mechanic Corky his character on Magnum has died in season 3! Corky as a character fades into another stereotype: simple minded, always dirty, unshaven, looking for a bottle and yet a good trusty fellow. Jeff was lucky to return to Magnum in season 5 as Jim Bonnik, and his extraordinary talent showed fully in this role.

Monkey seemed to have been filmed in Tahiti and on Oahu, we clearly recognized Bora Bora, called here Gora Bora. Standing joke in the show is that dog Jake makes "woof" for yes, and "woof woof" for no, or is it the other way around? This seem to lead to a never ending series of confusion.
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