5/10
Muscles and Teeth
25 August 2010
Warning: Spoilers
"The Crimson Pirate" is a swashbuckling adventure film which has much in common with "The Flame and the Arrow" from two years earlier. Both have a historical setting and star Burt Lancaster as the leader of a group of freedom fighters. Both films allow Lancaster to show off his skills as an acrobat (before becoming an actor he worked in a circus) and also co- star his close friend and former circus partner Nick Cravat. In both films Cravat's character is mute, although he himself was perfectly able to speak; apparently the reason was that he had a strong Brooklyn accent which the producers felt was inappropriate in a historical drama. Someone should have told the producers that any American accent- not just a Brooklyn one- would have been anachronistic in 12th century Italy, and there is no reason why a New Yorker should not have served on an 18th century pirate ship.

The film is set in the Caribbean some time the 18th century. (Don't ask exactly when; this is not a film which places a high value on historical accuracy). Lancaster plays the pirate chief Captain Vallo, known as "The Crimson Pirate". He and his crew become involved with a rebellion on the fictional island of Cobra against the tyrannical rule of the King of Spain and his special envoy Baron Gruda who has been ordered to crush the rebels. Vallo also becomes romantically involved with Consuelo, the beautiful daughter of the leader of the rebels.

The plot, in fact, is rather more complicated than that brief summary might suggest; Vallo starts off as a cynical double-dealer, playing Gruda and the rebels off against one another in the hope of maximising his profits, but eventually throws his lot in with the rebel cause, motivated partly by idealism and partly by love for Consuelo. There is also a sub-plot about Vallo's treacherous first mate, Humble Bellows, who is plotting to depose him as pirate captain. (For some reason Bellows always speaks a pseudo-archaic dialect, referring to everyone as "thee" and "thou", although he often gets it wrong; "thee be" instead of "thou art"). The film, however, doesn't really do plot any more than it does historical realism. The story is little more than an excuse for some spectacular (at least by the standards of the early fifties) action sequences and plenty of acrobatic derring-do from Lancaster and Cravat, who plays Vallo's lieutenant Ojo. Vallo, his men and the rebels are eventually enabled to defeat the government forces because a brilliant scientist puts at their disposal not only a hydrogen balloon (possible within the time-frame of the movie, given that the first such balloons appeared in the 1780s) but also, anachronistically, inventions such as nitroglycerine (discovered 1847), a flamethrower (first used in World War I) and a tank (ditto).

I was surprised to discover that the film was directed by Robert Siodmak, as I had always associated him with more serious fare such as "The Killers" (which also starred Lancaster) and "The Spiral Staircase". He was clearly a versatile director, but on the basis of this film swashbuckling adventure does not seem to have been his strong suit. "The Flame and the Arrow" may have its weaknesses, but at least it has something approaching a coherent plot and does not descend into silliness in the way that "The Crimson Pirate" tends to, frequently abandoning both coherence and credibility, generally in order to introduce some more circus stunts from Vallo and Ojo. The denouement is something of a cheat; the heroes in a historic adventure film ought to defeat the villains by being stronger, braver or more resourceful, not by suddenly having modern weapons placed at their disposal.

In the early part of his career, Burt Lancaster was sometimes dismissed as "Mr Muscles and Teeth", although this seems unfair as even in his early days he was capable of producing fine performances in serious films like "The Killers" or "From here to Eternity". "The Crimson Pirate", however, is very much one of his "muscles and teeth" films, making demands upon his athletic abilities but far fewer on his acting ones, except perhaps the ability to grin occasionally. 5/10
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