Review of Robin Hood

Robin Hood (2010)
4/10
Extended setup for a sequel featuring the real Robin Hood
7 September 2010
Warning: Spoilers
He does not live in a forest, he does not rob the rich, and he does not wear green; but he leads the English army against a French invasion and he almost makes King John sign the Magna Carta. And the film has no character is named Robin Hood: there is a Robin Longstride; there is a Sir Robin Loxley (with an x); the two merge into one -- but still there is no Robin Hood.

The historical background is weird. There is a King Richard in the movie, but he dies in France and does not get to return to England. The movie's King Philip of France tries to invade England using Landing Craft Assault ships ripped from a WW2 documentary (you have to see this to believe it). Maid Marian is a 30 years old widow. Robin's main opponent is a high-ranking official with of mixed English and French ethnicity. The Anglo-Norman noblemen prefer to speak English, as does the King of France (who actually makes a point of asking the official mentioned above to speak English).

Cate Blanchett is a great actress. Russell Crowe has great presence. Max von Sydow is a legend. But the script is hard to follow, especially given that the title promises a movie about Robin Hood, whereas the movie is a combination of "Sommersby" with the struggle of the English barons to limit the powers of royalty. And the movie is slow! It takes two hours until Robin is made an outlaw, and then the film ends. The only way to understand this is as an extended setup for one or two sequels featuring the real Robin Hood.
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