No sense carrying on about this movie.
One of the Hollywood moguls once said that if you want to send a message, call Western Union. The producers, director, and writers didn't take the advice because they've put together a movie that is an insult to the intelligence and taste not only of all human beings but all primates, all the way down to lemurs and tarsiers and marmosets. Maybe lower still. A platypus might bristle.
Peter Graves, tall, robust, handsome, is an American electronic specialist who manages to contact Mars by radio and begins to get messages in return. The Martians, it seems, have no need for oil or any source of energy other than cosmic. (The energy industries implode all over the world.) The average life span on Mars is 300 years. (Doctors jump out of windows.) They can feed a million people from food grown on one acre of ground. (Commodities fall through the floor.) But then, with the global economy in collapse, the messages begin to get spiritual, so to speak. The Martians begin babbling about their Supreme Leader and his sayings, which, it develops, are from the sermon on the mount.
I'll cut this short to spare you some of the pain I experienced while watching goggle-eyed as this execrable piece of trash unrolled on the screen.
The world's population now believes in God and begins going to church. (Cue the bells and the heavenly choirs.) The good folks of Russia rise up to worship on their own, are mowed down by cackling Soviet soldiers, but overthrow their government and establish a theocracy in pursuit of world peace.
There's a twist or two at the end that no power on Earth, or on Mars either, could get me to reveal, so I'll just finish by saying Graves and an arch enemy perish in a hydrogen explosion, for which I was grateful since it meant the end of the movie was at hand.
I often hear that there are some movies that are so bad, they're good. "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is often given as an example. So is John Wayne's "The Conqueror." Such claims prompt me to ask, "Has anyone ever actually sat through any of this junk?" If so, and if they've found it rewarding, they should definitely catch "Red Planet Mars."
One of the Hollywood moguls once said that if you want to send a message, call Western Union. The producers, director, and writers didn't take the advice because they've put together a movie that is an insult to the intelligence and taste not only of all human beings but all primates, all the way down to lemurs and tarsiers and marmosets. Maybe lower still. A platypus might bristle.
Peter Graves, tall, robust, handsome, is an American electronic specialist who manages to contact Mars by radio and begins to get messages in return. The Martians, it seems, have no need for oil or any source of energy other than cosmic. (The energy industries implode all over the world.) The average life span on Mars is 300 years. (Doctors jump out of windows.) They can feed a million people from food grown on one acre of ground. (Commodities fall through the floor.) But then, with the global economy in collapse, the messages begin to get spiritual, so to speak. The Martians begin babbling about their Supreme Leader and his sayings, which, it develops, are from the sermon on the mount.
I'll cut this short to spare you some of the pain I experienced while watching goggle-eyed as this execrable piece of trash unrolled on the screen.
The world's population now believes in God and begins going to church. (Cue the bells and the heavenly choirs.) The good folks of Russia rise up to worship on their own, are mowed down by cackling Soviet soldiers, but overthrow their government and establish a theocracy in pursuit of world peace.
There's a twist or two at the end that no power on Earth, or on Mars either, could get me to reveal, so I'll just finish by saying Graves and an arch enemy perish in a hydrogen explosion, for which I was grateful since it meant the end of the movie was at hand.
I often hear that there are some movies that are so bad, they're good. "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is often given as an example. So is John Wayne's "The Conqueror." Such claims prompt me to ask, "Has anyone ever actually sat through any of this junk?" If so, and if they've found it rewarding, they should definitely catch "Red Planet Mars."