Review of Pandorum

Pandorum (2009)
1/10
I would rename this 'Panboredom'.
11 October 2010
I was lured towards 'Pandorum' with the expectation of a good value science fiction/horror. But nay, was this poor-trite…

Ben Foster plays astronaut Corporal Bower, who wakes up on a desolate spacecraft, all alone, with no memory of who he is and how he got there. Whilst exploring the forsaken ship, he comes across fellow survivors and an evil presence that slaughters them one by one.

The premise of 'Pandorum' is reminiscent of 'Event Horizon', 'Alien', 'The Descent', 'Sunshine' and numerous other sci-fi/horror affairs…and it has absolutely no new ideas. But a genre film is a genre film, and that's not what makes 'Pandorum' bad.

German director, Christian Alvart, creates a despairing and unsettling tone that is effective in the first 10 minutes of the film. It reminded me a lot of Alien 3 (which I consider a pretty awful film too). But Fincher, Alvart ain't. 'Pandorum' rapidly deteriorates into an awful mess. I knew this was going no-where fast, but alas, it went beyond nowhere into another stratosphere of shiite-ness. The action sequences were impossible to make sense of, the art design was tacky, the creatures looked SO nonthreatening and false, and the ending was a real fizzer. It has an awful visual style to boot, and character development = zill.

Being impressed with Ben Foster on 'Six Feet Under', this was such a disappointment for someone I always saw as an up-and-coming star. He is utterly forgettable. And god knows why Dennis Quaid signed onto this.

This is complete trash, but not of the enjoyable, tongue in cheek kind. It is very rare that I feel compelled to walk out of a film before it ends. I want to get my money's worth…but after 45 minutes, I was completely unengaged and there is absolutely nothing to reel you back in. 'Pandorum'? I would rename this 'Panboredom'. I hated it.
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