Fantasy Mission Force
Genre: Martial Arts, War, Horror, Comedy Released: 1982 Director: Chu Yin Ping Starring: Jackie Chan (according to the cover)
There are movies that are good to go and see in the cinema, expensive spectacles of light and CGI, impressive acting and intrinsic plot twists, films you walk away from full of hope for the future of the moving picture. Other pictures are just good to watch when you are either stoned and/or drunk. Fantasy Mission Force is one of those films. In fact, it could well be the God of the stoner film. Jackie Chan did this film as a favour to Jimmy Wang Yu, who it's said helped him out with some Triad problems, and only appears here and there throughout the movie. Which is a good thing for Jackie. Our story takes place during World War 2, and begins with Jimmy Wang massacring the Japanese with a machine gun while driving around in a jeep. On returning to base, he is given a mission to rescue General Abraham Lincoln from the Japanese in Luxemburg, and to do so he has to gather a crack team of non-army folks from various locations in Europe. After a quick musical number in Chinese (the rest of the film is dubbed), Jimmy captures his first team member by luring him with food, grabs another who's just escaped from a Chinese jail (in Europe), and bags a violent assassin couple by almost killing them first. The female part of this couple bazookas her house before she goes for some reason, and the whole gang, including a comedy duo, set off for Luxemburg in a jeep. Jacky (as it's spelt here) is a hustler, bumping people for money by duping them into fights or something. It's hard to tell. After making a large amount of cash, the local chief of police takes it off him and Jackie, missus in tow, sets off into the wilderness scant. Our heroes, crossing marshland, are attacked by masked Amazon warriors, and Jimmy is killed. Nevertheless, our heroes plod on, only to get themselves captured by the Amazons, who live in a complex riverside bamboo village (in Europe). A tuxedo-clad James Bong type rules these chicks, and wants to kill the male half of our heroic gang. Luckily, they are rescued in a hailstorm of explosions and run off to the next mental part of the film. Jackie joins in the action for a bit again here, fighting with a live chicken in his arms (chicken NOT chuffed by the looks of it), and then goes away again. Next up our heroes find themselves kipping overnight in a house full of Chinese ghosts, which leads to many bizarre scenes, including one of the heroes settling down to play cards with two ghosts, and a dinner party involving loads of scary claws taking the pish out of another character. Somehow one of the characters ends up dressed in armour and swinging a morning star about, and they all finally end up at their end destination, only to find they've been double crossed by Jimmy Wang Yu, who is still alive. However, the cast of Mad Max turn up in seventies cars (during WWII) adorned with swastikas, and a huge battle breaks out. Our heroes are all killed in surprisingly violent and gory ways, including the comedy relief who is impaled by a sword shoved up his back door! Jackie appears and sorts out the rest of the baddies, including Jimmy Wang, and the whole film just stops as if someone has switched of the DVD for you. Fantasy Mission Force goes where not even films like Zombie Flesh Eaters would dare. Two minutes into the film sanity hails a cab and gets right out of town, leaving you watching a Nazi Kong FUD horror fantasy film which is so insane you have no idea where it's going to go next. The dialogue is hilarious, the acting diabolical, and the plot developments thought out by someone on heavy sedatives. Don't buy it to see Jackie Chan, because you'll feel let down, buy it because you need to see one the craziest films in existence.
Genre: Martial Arts, War, Horror, Comedy Released: 1982 Director: Chu Yin Ping Starring: Jackie Chan (according to the cover)
There are movies that are good to go and see in the cinema, expensive spectacles of light and CGI, impressive acting and intrinsic plot twists, films you walk away from full of hope for the future of the moving picture. Other pictures are just good to watch when you are either stoned and/or drunk. Fantasy Mission Force is one of those films. In fact, it could well be the God of the stoner film. Jackie Chan did this film as a favour to Jimmy Wang Yu, who it's said helped him out with some Triad problems, and only appears here and there throughout the movie. Which is a good thing for Jackie. Our story takes place during World War 2, and begins with Jimmy Wang massacring the Japanese with a machine gun while driving around in a jeep. On returning to base, he is given a mission to rescue General Abraham Lincoln from the Japanese in Luxemburg, and to do so he has to gather a crack team of non-army folks from various locations in Europe. After a quick musical number in Chinese (the rest of the film is dubbed), Jimmy captures his first team member by luring him with food, grabs another who's just escaped from a Chinese jail (in Europe), and bags a violent assassin couple by almost killing them first. The female part of this couple bazookas her house before she goes for some reason, and the whole gang, including a comedy duo, set off for Luxemburg in a jeep. Jacky (as it's spelt here) is a hustler, bumping people for money by duping them into fights or something. It's hard to tell. After making a large amount of cash, the local chief of police takes it off him and Jackie, missus in tow, sets off into the wilderness scant. Our heroes, crossing marshland, are attacked by masked Amazon warriors, and Jimmy is killed. Nevertheless, our heroes plod on, only to get themselves captured by the Amazons, who live in a complex riverside bamboo village (in Europe). A tuxedo-clad James Bong type rules these chicks, and wants to kill the male half of our heroic gang. Luckily, they are rescued in a hailstorm of explosions and run off to the next mental part of the film. Jackie joins in the action for a bit again here, fighting with a live chicken in his arms (chicken NOT chuffed by the looks of it), and then goes away again. Next up our heroes find themselves kipping overnight in a house full of Chinese ghosts, which leads to many bizarre scenes, including one of the heroes settling down to play cards with two ghosts, and a dinner party involving loads of scary claws taking the pish out of another character. Somehow one of the characters ends up dressed in armour and swinging a morning star about, and they all finally end up at their end destination, only to find they've been double crossed by Jimmy Wang Yu, who is still alive. However, the cast of Mad Max turn up in seventies cars (during WWII) adorned with swastikas, and a huge battle breaks out. Our heroes are all killed in surprisingly violent and gory ways, including the comedy relief who is impaled by a sword shoved up his back door! Jackie appears and sorts out the rest of the baddies, including Jimmy Wang, and the whole film just stops as if someone has switched of the DVD for you. Fantasy Mission Force goes where not even films like Zombie Flesh Eaters would dare. Two minutes into the film sanity hails a cab and gets right out of town, leaving you watching a Nazi Kong FUD horror fantasy film which is so insane you have no idea where it's going to go next. The dialogue is hilarious, the acting diabolical, and the plot developments thought out by someone on heavy sedatives. Don't buy it to see Jackie Chan, because you'll feel let down, buy it because you need to see one the craziest films in existence.