The Resident (2011)
5/10
Genre Cliché how do I love thee? Let me count the ways!
11 July 2011
Warning: Spoilers
1. Professional woman (Hilary Swank) who's just been cheated on by her ex searches for a new apartment and just wants to move on in her life. She's a good heart surgeon but lonely....

2. Caretaker (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) and his ancient Grandfather (Christopher Lee) let her a hugely spacious apartment at about a tenth of the normal rent....

3. Swank begins to fall for the gentlemanly guy, but after almost consummating the relationship the audience discover (shock! horror!) that the guy's a creepy perv. He's fitted up her apartment with lots of spy holes and hidden entrances like any self respecting creepy perv would...

4. Caretaker seen early on in movie using a nail gun, not realising they usually come back to haunt you if you're a creepy perv - see Pacific Heights for reference....

5. Methinks I spot a professional body double getting out of the bath. The camera is appropriately misted up/out of focus so the brief nudity is quite tasteful....

6. Clause in Ms Swank's contract. "Camera must linger longingly over my client's every gesture and thought for at least 40% of the movie."

7. Clause in Mr. Lee's contract. "Client must not appear for more than 5 minutes in the movie, just like most of his other 200-odd screen appearances - see Dracula Prince of Darkness."

8. Swank's Loser ex reappears and in spite of being even creepier than Morgan's sad perv she promptly beds him.

9. Our heroine only drinks red wine, so it is left uncorked for Dean Morgan to add Demerol, etc....He's well screwed if she drank white...:)

10. Cell Phones that we are told have a signal problem in the building at the beginning of the movie, but work fine until Swank has to make a crucial phone call.....

11. Top heart surgeon takes about a fortnight to suspect she's being drugged every night. Tests her blood at the hospital. Guesses what Caretaker has been up to. Does not ring police. Does not tell anyone at all. Just rushes home. Nice one!

12. During the final confrontation nail-guns evil caretaker about 6 times. Always in a non-fatal area. Remember she's a surgeon....

There are a lot more. Actually I'm being a bit hard on The Resident, as it's not too badly made and put together, but I've included the above as a long-winded way of saying you've probably been here before, watching the same plot from a dozen or more other flicks. In truth, this is Hammer's least successful movie of their new era. What a pity Lee's character doesn't survive longer. I'd have had him trying to help Swank's character. Instead he gets offed pretty quickly. Shame as he's a fine actor. Still, hopefully the new Hammer will learn from this and develop. Wake Wood and Let Me In were much better.
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