"If you don't have anything nice to say ..." Is this an adequate review?
An embarrassingly bad, schlocky swords and sorcery movie starring Nicolas Cage (Leaving Las Vegas, National Treasure, Adaptation) as a heroic crusader tasked with transporting a witch to a remote monastery in central Europe during the time of the Black Death. Accompanied by his fellow crusader (Ron Perlman -- Hellboy I and II, City of Lost Children) and a young priest (Stephen Campbell Moore -- Bright Young Things, Amazing Grace), the "witch" soon proves to be not-what-she seems and before anybody knows it -- all hell breaks loose.
This is a film that is rather stupid when it begins ... and it becomes a bit stupider and than more stupider and even more stoopiderer as it goes along (I groan each time I type that).
It could be entertaining enough for others but I just had too many problems with dialogue (references to things not in existence in the Dark Ages) and bad jokes and Nicolas Cage's irritating performance (this guy is an Oscar-winner and he can be excellent; but these paycheck films always elicit terrible performances out of him).
There is enough action and some special effects that could impress ... but by the plot's "big reveal" (not really so big) I'd had enough. Seriously ... now I will heed that advice I have been told so many times before. I don't have anything nice to say so ...
An embarrassingly bad, schlocky swords and sorcery movie starring Nicolas Cage (Leaving Las Vegas, National Treasure, Adaptation) as a heroic crusader tasked with transporting a witch to a remote monastery in central Europe during the time of the Black Death. Accompanied by his fellow crusader (Ron Perlman -- Hellboy I and II, City of Lost Children) and a young priest (Stephen Campbell Moore -- Bright Young Things, Amazing Grace), the "witch" soon proves to be not-what-she seems and before anybody knows it -- all hell breaks loose.
This is a film that is rather stupid when it begins ... and it becomes a bit stupider and than more stupider and even more stoopiderer as it goes along (I groan each time I type that).
It could be entertaining enough for others but I just had too many problems with dialogue (references to things not in existence in the Dark Ages) and bad jokes and Nicolas Cage's irritating performance (this guy is an Oscar-winner and he can be excellent; but these paycheck films always elicit terrible performances out of him).
There is enough action and some special effects that could impress ... but by the plot's "big reveal" (not really so big) I'd had enough. Seriously ... now I will heed that advice I have been told so many times before. I don't have anything nice to say so ...