The River (2012)
1/10
Absolutely awful
11 February 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Just when I thought that TV could not get any worse along comes this garbage. How can Spielberg allow his name to be associated with this horror. I also picked up that Spanish instead of Portuguese was spoken; I would like to direct the folks responsible for this mess to the CIA website where they can get some useful information about a country for free as they obviously slept through Geography class. The story-line is as jerky as the photography, I am pleased I kept an air-sick bag handy. The "research vessel" looks like the "African Queen" minus good actors. By the time Leslie Hope was sucked into the swamp I was fervently praying that she would never return; her screams were like fingernails being scratched down a chalk-board. The trees full of dolls brought out my hunting instincts; do you get a stuffed animal if you shoot one? The river looks very much like the mangrove swamps on the south side of Puerto Rico, a place I have sheltered in on a boat from a hurricane; not very Amazon like. The fake dragonflies are cool, so I have awarded it one star.
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