3/10
Do Yourself a Favor and Skip This One
12 April 2012
I watched this movie because, based on the name, I was expecting it to be set in New Orleans. So I was a bit disappointed when it was set in Michigan, but I couldn't hold that against the film. However, there was still plenty else I could legitimately hold against the film.

Unlike every other reviewer on here, I had no idea who Dave Bautista was and that he was a wrestler. What the other reviews don't mention is how distracting Bautista's size is throughout the movie. Because he is so huge, dwarfing every other actor, I kept expecting him to hulk out and start smashing things. I didn't understand why they would have cast someone with that ENORMOUS size if it wasn't a requirement for the role (à la early Schwarzenegger as Conan). I also couldn't understand why any serious, dramatic actor (and this is a serious role) would do that to his body as I kept wondering how many steroids it took to get that big. Finding out he was a professional wrestler at least explained that apparent contradiction. I suppose the producers thought they were cashing in on Bautista's "fame."

I'll give Bautista credit for trying and trying very, very hard to act this part which was reminiscent of a film noir detective. Unfortunately, he just didn't have the acting skills to pull it off. (Just because someone like a wrestler, model or singer "performs" as part of their job doesn't mean they can act. News flash: Acting is its own unique specialty. It takes talent and practice to be able to act well.) Instead of restrained, he comes across as wooden. Maybe they thought they'd cast against type by putting Gigantor into a role where he's supposed to be low key, intelligent and only resorts to violence when he's forced to instead of just grabbing the bad guy by his shirt, lifting him off the ground and threatening to pound him back into the ground with his ham-sized fist. As the noose draws tighter and tighter around Bautista's character, you're supposed to feel sorry for the guy, but it's nearly impossible to feel sympathy for the biggest guy in the room. (The one character I did feel sympathy for was the hit-man friend.)

To make things worse the script was bad. Tedious, predictable except where it didn't make any sense at all, and far too slow moving in spots --- deadly dull even. Great acting can salvage a thin script. But this wasn't great acting from anyone. It was mediocre acting with performances as flat as the pages of the newspaper comic strip it felt like the story came from.

The nicest things I can say about the movie are at least it was shot on location in Michigan (and didn't take the usual cheap route of Vancouver, British Columbia) and I somehow made it to the end of the movie. But I don't recommend you make it to the end of this movie or even to the beginning. Just do yourself a favor and skip this one.
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