The Gathering (2007)
1/10
Utter boring nonsense paranoid mess
8 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
This seems not to be a story, but rather a really messy quilt of about 10 different subplots mixed together. But can this be combined to make a great horror movie? Will It Blend? No, it does not blend at all.

The story / script authors added way too much subplots and storytelling approaches. The result is confusing - this is not horror nor thriller nor a teenage movie, it is just a mess. Even the excruciating 4 hours run time could not stop this mess to be not even nonsensical, but also very boring. The load was definitely well too much for authors to handle and it is almost impossible to digest for the viewer.

There is a main subplot of a man who lost his wife. The wife had her problems. Their daughter had her problems. Her friends had some other problems. The policeman had his own problems. Then there is a subplot about some sort of covenant doing strange things. Plus there is a political subplot (all these pathetic US movies had to have some sort of paranoid political ideas). Then there is a bomb. Then there is I don't know some MD who has some problems with the gathering. And of course there are characters in the gathering who have some other problems, and they are these neo wiccans who are also witches and satanists and want to rule the world and they are so bad that they make spells and smoke pot and whatever...

At this point I have reached first half of the movie, where is, you know, this twist with a bomb that explodes and mixes all this mess into even slightly more messy burning mess. At that very point I found no courage to suffer this amateurish crap no more. I really had to fix myself by watching some other quality movie to fix my mood.

I was able to watch the other part of the movie only at 4x FFWD speed just to check if anything interesting happens in the second part. All I could see were these characters sitting, standing, chatting, solving whatever blah blah something yet reaching no conclusion in some sort of Forever Alone ending. After that I have deleted this crap from DVR to save another 2 hours of my life.

Seriously, Timothy Ferris said that our time is valuable and when the book is crap we are not obligated to finish it. Nor movie that is confusing, stupid and boring. Shame on you, you pathetic authors - our time is valuable. If you cannot make show interesting please make it at least short.
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