Sharktopus (2010 TV Movie)
1/10
Oh My God - WHY??
30 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
After about 15 minutes that's all I could think of - WHY?

There is no logical reason to actually make a movie like this. It's not even in the "so bad it's funny" pile, it's just plain stupid and it's another movie in a growing line of movies that's ruined by bad CGI.

A Scientist, Eric Roberts, is commissioned by the navy, along with his daughter, to develop a biological weapon to combat drug runners, pirates, slavers and anything else that the military might need it for, so naturally they set about splicing together a shark & an Octopus and manage to create the perfect killing machine apparently.

As usual during a "routine" test of this creatures abilities, the device which controls this aberration of nature, is clipped by a motor boat propeller and gets damaged. The device is little more than a transmitter fitted with flimsy belt strapped around the creature, which they call S11, and once the scientists are no longer in control, the creature pulls it off, discards it and then sets about doing what every twisted freak of nature does best, travels to Mexico to feast on Chicas, boats, bungee jumpers and anything else you can wrap a CGI tentacle around.

The thing that makes this movie just plain bad is that it actually tries to pull itself off as being a serious movie. Eric Roberts was either incredibly drunk when he agreed to do this or just plain desperate as he looks bored and bemused through the whole stupid mess. At a stretch if there was anything in this flick that could save it, it would be some of the scientific dialogue and that for once the action does not take place in the U.S but in Mexico instead, however even with that, this is a total disaster.

Even if it were possible to splice together the genes of 2 totally different species like this, I don't get why it suddenly feels the need to come up on land to look for food. I've never seen an octopus do this except to get to the next rock pool before it dries out and what's it breathing? The CGI effects are terrible as is the faux reaction that needs to be done by the "actors" whenever this thing is supposed to grab them. I've also never known any shark that was impervious to a machine gun.

A particularly brainless scene involves S11 coming ashore near some cultural dancers. It perches itself up on some nearby columns yet no one saw it come out of the water? One retard in the audience actually asks "is that part of the show" before all hell breaks loose.

Another equally dismal scene has this bikini clad girl treasure hunting along the shoreline with a metal detector. She finds a gold coin but is pulled to her death by large tentacles. The whole scene is watched by an old man, who never warns her, never cries out for help, doesn't even appear shocked by what he just witnessed, he simply picks up the gold coin and walks off!

And the movie goes on like this. The death scenes are way too predictable and clumsy, the effects are cheap, there's no acting at all and the fact that it exists as a movie is an abomination. Movie makers were doing stuff like this better back in the 1950's with "It Came from Beneath the Sea", with less of a budget and when you needed a working brain to create special effects. Even Jaws was made of rubber & fibreglass and it looked more real.

Save your time, your sanity and your money and avoid this. If you must see this, get a cheap copy or borrow one and then rid the earth of it.
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