Jack's Back (1988)
1/10
no action, no suspense, zero gore, 100% bore
12 June 2013
in theory this movie should/could have been awesome. unfortunately, it's probably the single most disappointing little known 80's B Horror film i've managed to track down in all my years of horror viewing. I love 'those' types of movies, the complete freedom to be crazy, violent, ridiculously funny, or even scary and disturbing if the colours are mixed correctly. This movie is none of those things. The 'ripper' is not-so-elegantly foreshadowed by his first 2 lines in the first 5 minutes in the movie, so even the most unsophisticated viewer will know exactly what will transpire towards the end. Also the red herring is shamelessly gallivanted around as if to say "it's this guy, its this guy, it's THIS GUY. And I think most of the IMDb and cult horror viewers like myself will struggle to not roll their eyeballs completely out of their sockets during the course of this movie.

OK so the plot stinks! The acting is alright, there's a bit of a sub- plot love story between a younger more attractive James Spader (look up recent pictures of him as an example of how to NOT age gracefully :( and he's just not sexy enough to carry the 'mysterious dark loner' type guy. While horror movies do NOT need to have explicit amounts of gore or violence in order to be good; it certainly tends to help in films like this that just end up being completely boring.

I'm assuming this film was originally produced to air on TV and then later video as even the uncut version has zero nudity or violence. Jack the ripper would be ashamed if he had seen this.

That being said, if you really enjoy James Spader and whatever lady he co-stars with, if you have an affinity for slightly trashy murder mysteries (sans the mystery in this case) or if you had seen this movie decades ago, perhaps it is worth a revisit :)

*also* be on the lookout for the single most ridiculous uppercut/ninja punch that I cannot believe wasn't edited out to look less ridiculous.
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