Phantom (I) (2013)
2/10
I love submarine movies but this is not one of them.
13 June 2013
This has the same heavy handed touch as Lincoln.

Nothing much happens in the first 20 minutes... except mystery (long stares... blowing wind... dark chords from an orchestra) then we have detailed character exposition coming out of people's mouths: "Oh you're the Captain whose Father... blah blah blah".

Then what we have is essentially a remake of Ice Station Zebra (1968).

The story is interesting (if we believe one of the stories about K-129) yet we have a submarine full of Americans that are supposed to be Russians that talk like Americans, think like Americans and resolve conflicts like Americans and the best among them is the most American.

Is the point that someone that thought like an American saved the day?

How marvelously convenient. Pat on the back for our values. Heave.

Pace blah, cinematography blah, score blah, performances blah.

The ending is ludicrous. It's also stupid, vapid, moronic, cretinous.

As actors given an excrement sandwich of a script I guess they did the best they could.

Mmm... nutty.

Ice Station Zebra (1968) has a lot less going on than this but is a much better movie, even with Ernest Borgnine playing a Russian.

John Carpenter loves it as do I, even though it's so flawed.

Below (2002) is also much better, scenes from that film still haunt me, no scenes from Phantom will.
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