It takes a special kind of gift to assemble a cast of (mostly) highly entertaining actors, including Daniel Day Lewis and Penelope Cruz, and still make a mess as big as this one. And it's not even cheap sexy fun, though the message appears to be that all women are pole dancin' sluts at heart. Who knew? "Nine" was 2009's "Burlesque." It belongs in the mausoleum where lie such films as "Annie," "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas," "Xanadu," "Chorus Line -- The Movie," and "The Wiz." The less said about "Nine" the better. We can, however, say how it retained the essence of the original Broadway show (but not the Fellini movie), and then we can all just pretend it never happened.
Review of Nine
