Review of The Crimson Pirate

. . . did not watch THE CRIMSON PIRATE first! These two flops have the exact same spoofy tone and reliance on whiz bang gadgets both anachronistic and underwhelming, while featuring complicated story lines which leave no room for development of characters the viewer can actually care about. If the men behind the $75 million boondoggle THE THREE MUSKETEERS (which only grossed $20 million when it came out)--such as director Paul W.S. Anderson--had the business savvy to try to avoid repeating great failures of the past (2005's SAHARA, in which Breck Eisner directed Matthew McConaughey in a Clive Cussler yarn, which cost $130 million, but only returned $69 million, also comes to mind), then maybe Logan Lerman (as Percy Jackson 2, out now) could have learned to act, as did the other young stars who cut their teeth on the role of D'Artagnan in earlier, better versions of THE THREE MUSKETEERS. But no, Hollywood honchos apparently avoid watching other moguls' earlier flops like the plague! If Hollywood made cars, all we would have is Edsels!