...this wretched mess from the mind of a faux-auteur (wrote, directed, and produced---wow, no one to blame but himself!) reportedly cost a million bucks, but one can only wonder where all the money went. Up various noses, no doubt. This is trash with a capital T, kiddies, and you best believe it if you don't want to slice an utterly wasted hour- and-a-half out of your life. This baby is a fast-forward special all the way, with little to redeem it beyond bimbos in their underwear and an unexpectedly hilarious camel-toe.
Terrible acting from two vacuous models who should never be allowed near a script again in their lives, a horrendously bad script replete with turgid, pointless dialog and a plot that only a nerd on the cusp of pubescence could enjoy, pedestrian camera-work, and production values so low that you really, really have to wonder, once again, where the heck all that money went. Scout "The Runaways" Taylor-Compton narrowly avoids derailing her career with a mercifully brief cameo (and a laughably bad old-age reprise), while Charles "Cherry, Harry & Raquel" Napier puts a sad, sorry end to his lengthy B-movie career (one can only hope he never had to actually watch this pitiable thing). Patrick "Sandlot" Renna proves that being the chubby kid doesn't much lead to stardom, Justin "Little Miss Sunshine" Shilton takes a badly-directed paycheck, as do a terribly miscast Danny "Seinfeld" Woodburn and an even more egregiously-cast Angela "I shouldn't be allowed near a script, either" Lindvall. Oh, did I forget the names of the two leads? Given the quality of their performances, I'm not surprised. Look it up yourself; I was too bored by them to give them the satisfaction.
Another strike against the video buyer of my local library system, this is a movie only an Ed Wood could be proud of, and I think even Ed might raise an eyebrow or two at this nonsense.
I gave it a point for Charles Napier's sake, one for Patrick Renna's desperation, and one for the camel-toe out of left field. Definitely didn't see that one coming. If you're smart, you won't even bother looking.
Terrible acting from two vacuous models who should never be allowed near a script again in their lives, a horrendously bad script replete with turgid, pointless dialog and a plot that only a nerd on the cusp of pubescence could enjoy, pedestrian camera-work, and production values so low that you really, really have to wonder, once again, where the heck all that money went. Scout "The Runaways" Taylor-Compton narrowly avoids derailing her career with a mercifully brief cameo (and a laughably bad old-age reprise), while Charles "Cherry, Harry & Raquel" Napier puts a sad, sorry end to his lengthy B-movie career (one can only hope he never had to actually watch this pitiable thing). Patrick "Sandlot" Renna proves that being the chubby kid doesn't much lead to stardom, Justin "Little Miss Sunshine" Shilton takes a badly-directed paycheck, as do a terribly miscast Danny "Seinfeld" Woodburn and an even more egregiously-cast Angela "I shouldn't be allowed near a script, either" Lindvall. Oh, did I forget the names of the two leads? Given the quality of their performances, I'm not surprised. Look it up yourself; I was too bored by them to give them the satisfaction.
Another strike against the video buyer of my local library system, this is a movie only an Ed Wood could be proud of, and I think even Ed might raise an eyebrow or two at this nonsense.
I gave it a point for Charles Napier's sake, one for Patrick Renna's desperation, and one for the camel-toe out of left field. Definitely didn't see that one coming. If you're smart, you won't even bother looking.