Watching "Anaconda is like plastering the palm of your hand against a clear glass jar that contains a rattlesnake and then gambling that you won't flinch when the snake strikes at the glass from within the container. More than half of the audience with whom I sat lost this wager every time that the eponymous snake struck. The ghoulish, B-movie plot of "Anaconda" resembles a blueprint for a theme park cruise. Scenarists Hans Bauer, Jim Cash, and Jack Epps, Jr., have borrowed surefire elements and incidents from better movies, such as "Moby Dick" (1956), "Creature from the Black Lagoon" (1954), and "Jaws" (1975). Sadly, although it is entertaining in an idiotic kind of way, "Anaconda" never seems to enthrall its audience because its campy sense of unreality undercuts its chills.
The premise has something to do with journalists on an expedition heading down the Amazon in search of a lost South American tribe of Indians. Expedition leader Dr. Steven Cale (Eric Stoltz of "Killing Zoe") picks up a shipwrecked survivor, Paul Sarone (Jon Voight of "Midnight Cowboy"), along the way, but nothing good comes from this act of kindness. Voight turns in a heavily accented performance as an incredibly slimy villain. He is cast as a sinister ex-priest who resembles the feisty Quint (Robert Shaw) in "Jaws." Sarone is as obsessed with bagging giant killer snake as Ahab (Gregory Peck) was with catching a great white whale in "Moby Dick." Sarone is perfectly willing to use his new friends as bait if necessary to trap his 40-foot snake.
A freak underwater accident early on puts Dr. Cale out of commission. It seems that when he dove in to fix a stuck propeller, a poisonous fish swam into his mouth and stung him. Sarone convinces the expedition film director, Terri Flores (Jennifer Lopez of "Selena") that he knows a short-cut down a blocked tributary that will cut 50 miles off their trip and save Cale's life. Foolishly, Terri believes Sarone and off they steam literally into the jaws of death. Director Louis Llosa and his scribes really heat up the suspense when Sarone commandeers the boat. Our heroes are cut off now in the untamed jungles of South America, and their radio has crapped out on them. They are without help and completely at the Sarone's mercy. Furthermore, during a big snake attack, the reptile knocks most of their fuel overboard so they have to prowl deeper into snake country to find more fuel.
Standing out among the trendy-looking cast for his resilience is rapper Ice Cube from "Boyz N the Hood." He plays a tough, resourceful, film photographer who joins forces with Terri to thwart Sarone. The rest of the expedition crew are largely victims biding their time until they are eaten.
If you don't know an animatronic snake from the real McCoy, or if you think this super anaconda could outrun the Road Runner, you're in for a nightmare experience. Every time this fake anaconda struck, most of the audience with which I sat went berserk. This big mother of a snake slings its coils like so many lariats around its prey. No matter if they're scrambling for a ladder or jogging through the jungle, this lethal anaconda hits them like a twister, wraps around them, and then chomps down on their heads. A pretty sight it is not. Meanwhile, the audiences sheds its collective skin. Maybe it wasn't as terrifying as "Alien," but then my audience wouldn't have known the difference. What really matters in "Anaconda" is who will the big, bad snake devour next? And how will our heroes destroy it? Director Louis Llosa, whose helmed better movies such as "The Specialist" and "Sniper," exploits the colorful Amazonian flora and fauna as does the snake. Sure, there are the inevitable anaconda cam shots and for the artistically inclined, Llosa provides a grotesque point of view shot. We get to see what it looks like staring down inside of the python's gullet as it digest another victim.
Llosa paces "Anaconda" like a jack-in-the-box. He cranks up the tension between attacks. Just before his audiences has recovered, he unleashes another attack. And be warned, nothing can stop this anaconda. It can smash through windows, shatter boat hulls, and has special sensing ability that attracts it to its prey. This anaconda also shrieks like a cat when it gets hooked.
As horror movies go, "Anaconda" is a straightforward, gut and churn classic. Not classic in the sense that it represents superior entertainment. Instead, classic in the sense that it egregious. The only moment in the entire film when the movie makers reach too far is Voight's tacky winking scene. This scene is so hideous that you either howl or hurl. Llosa succeeds in frightening the frijoles out of his audiences with unsavory material. Nothing wrong with that. Any movie that provokes a response is worth watching at least once. The closet that the filmmakers come to sexual encounters is a quickie on the bank that the snake hisses at, and Lopez's wet T-shirt.
Despite its glossy, big-budgeted production values, "Anaconda" ends up as such a flaky carnival of outlandish special effects and unrealistic antics that you want to snicker when you should scream and scream when you should snicker.
The premise has something to do with journalists on an expedition heading down the Amazon in search of a lost South American tribe of Indians. Expedition leader Dr. Steven Cale (Eric Stoltz of "Killing Zoe") picks up a shipwrecked survivor, Paul Sarone (Jon Voight of "Midnight Cowboy"), along the way, but nothing good comes from this act of kindness. Voight turns in a heavily accented performance as an incredibly slimy villain. He is cast as a sinister ex-priest who resembles the feisty Quint (Robert Shaw) in "Jaws." Sarone is as obsessed with bagging giant killer snake as Ahab (Gregory Peck) was with catching a great white whale in "Moby Dick." Sarone is perfectly willing to use his new friends as bait if necessary to trap his 40-foot snake.
A freak underwater accident early on puts Dr. Cale out of commission. It seems that when he dove in to fix a stuck propeller, a poisonous fish swam into his mouth and stung him. Sarone convinces the expedition film director, Terri Flores (Jennifer Lopez of "Selena") that he knows a short-cut down a blocked tributary that will cut 50 miles off their trip and save Cale's life. Foolishly, Terri believes Sarone and off they steam literally into the jaws of death. Director Louis Llosa and his scribes really heat up the suspense when Sarone commandeers the boat. Our heroes are cut off now in the untamed jungles of South America, and their radio has crapped out on them. They are without help and completely at the Sarone's mercy. Furthermore, during a big snake attack, the reptile knocks most of their fuel overboard so they have to prowl deeper into snake country to find more fuel.
Standing out among the trendy-looking cast for his resilience is rapper Ice Cube from "Boyz N the Hood." He plays a tough, resourceful, film photographer who joins forces with Terri to thwart Sarone. The rest of the expedition crew are largely victims biding their time until they are eaten.
If you don't know an animatronic snake from the real McCoy, or if you think this super anaconda could outrun the Road Runner, you're in for a nightmare experience. Every time this fake anaconda struck, most of the audience with which I sat went berserk. This big mother of a snake slings its coils like so many lariats around its prey. No matter if they're scrambling for a ladder or jogging through the jungle, this lethal anaconda hits them like a twister, wraps around them, and then chomps down on their heads. A pretty sight it is not. Meanwhile, the audiences sheds its collective skin. Maybe it wasn't as terrifying as "Alien," but then my audience wouldn't have known the difference. What really matters in "Anaconda" is who will the big, bad snake devour next? And how will our heroes destroy it? Director Louis Llosa, whose helmed better movies such as "The Specialist" and "Sniper," exploits the colorful Amazonian flora and fauna as does the snake. Sure, there are the inevitable anaconda cam shots and for the artistically inclined, Llosa provides a grotesque point of view shot. We get to see what it looks like staring down inside of the python's gullet as it digest another victim.
Llosa paces "Anaconda" like a jack-in-the-box. He cranks up the tension between attacks. Just before his audiences has recovered, he unleashes another attack. And be warned, nothing can stop this anaconda. It can smash through windows, shatter boat hulls, and has special sensing ability that attracts it to its prey. This anaconda also shrieks like a cat when it gets hooked.
As horror movies go, "Anaconda" is a straightforward, gut and churn classic. Not classic in the sense that it represents superior entertainment. Instead, classic in the sense that it egregious. The only moment in the entire film when the movie makers reach too far is Voight's tacky winking scene. This scene is so hideous that you either howl or hurl. Llosa succeeds in frightening the frijoles out of his audiences with unsavory material. Nothing wrong with that. Any movie that provokes a response is worth watching at least once. The closet that the filmmakers come to sexual encounters is a quickie on the bank that the snake hisses at, and Lopez's wet T-shirt.
Despite its glossy, big-budgeted production values, "Anaconda" ends up as such a flaky carnival of outlandish special effects and unrealistic antics that you want to snicker when you should scream and scream when you should snicker.