Review of Snakes on a Train

This movie could have been an awesome b-movie, but instead is just...i don't even know what it is. While you watch it you won't stop saying "wait, what?!". A coursed girl and a boy try to smuggle themselves into los statos unidos by train, until she transforms in a huge viper and swallow the train (What?!). Basically nothing happens for the first hour of the movie. The director tries to introduce other characters and their stories but they're so shallow and bad that you won't even care about 'em. The only thing worth a mention that happens in the first 60 mins is the main character that rips another guy's heart using the Indiana Jones' evil thuggee lord's style. And that's it. Finally, when the clock strikes the end of the 60st minute, something happens: BOOBS. Really. Not that I don't like see topless girls, but hey, you're shooting a movie that s**ks and you want to rise it up a little by showing us boobs? OK, I appreciate that, but at least do it with a girl with nice, round and big ones (no offense Amelia). After that several snakes get unleashed, they start to attack people and the controls of the train break so nobody can stop it to get away from the snakes. I don't even wanna talk about the cgi used in the last scene. It's not worth it. What I liked about this movie, which is what saves it from a 1 out of 10, is that the producers didn't care at all about showing breasts for no reason and having a child swallowed hole by a giant python. Good splatter effects as well in the carved heart scene and in the arm-penetrating snakes one. Don't watch it. It's so bad that it's not even funny.